Wishing For a Windfall

For millions of people, their wildest (and, often, only) dream is to win the lottery. Week after week they pick up tickets at their convenience store and wait to hear their numbers called.

Why is that? Dig a bit deeper and you’ll discover that many of these folks are convinced that such an event would be the solution to all of their problems.

But would it?

A closer look at the real lives of those who once picked the winning numbers shows a slightly different picture. A surprising number of lottery multimillionaires dispose of their newfound wealth rather quickly.

The same is true for many athletes and performers whose wealth arrived in an avalanche. Most of us, it appears, are far more successful when change of any sort is a gradual process.

But that’s not the whole story.

Recently, Paula Pant’s blog, Afford Anything, had an interesting post called How Would Your Life Change If You Had Millions? The article was inspired when her partner asked her what she would do if she found herself super wealthy?

Her reply? “Nothing would change. I’d do the same things I’m doing now: buy rental properties, run a website, write articles. I’d just do it on a bigger scale.”

Pant goes on to explore how people who handled their wealth really well were often people who had already been doing what they loved and just expanded their territory as they prospered.

The piece reminded me of one of my all-time favorite episodes of Inside the Actors Studio on Bravo, an interview with Dustin Hoffman.

At the end of the evening, during the Q & A with the students, Hoffman was asked, “Why do you act?” His answer was passionate and memorable.

He said, (and I’m paraphrasing a bit here), “If I hadn’t gotten the movie (The Graduate), I’d still be doing this. I would be doing this period. I would be doing this in community theater. I’d be teaching at some college or a repertory theater. I can do it anywhere—and I would.”

Even if you consider playing the lottery to be a pleasant hobby, stop fooling yourself that a windfall is the solution to making peace with money.

Instead, consider this observation from Mike Dooley: “Both having money and not having money make fantastic adventures possible that would not otherwise be possible. Same for having, and not having anything else.”

A Laughing Matter

Shortly after I met Chris Utterback, I was having a difficult day loaded with disappointments. I decided to see if my new friend could cheer me up so I gave her a call.

When she answered the phone, I said, “This is Barbara. Make me laugh.”

To my amazement, she calmly replied, “Let me get my cartoon folder.”

When she returned to the phone, I said, “You keep a folder of cartoons?” She admitted that she had done so for quite some time and had a fine collection.

I loved that idea and promptly started one of my own which I labeled Make Me Laugh. Whenever my spirits drooped, I knew exactly where to go to get a boost.

Several months later, Chris called to share a Ziggy cartoon that had her giggling. The punch line was, “My definition of prosperity is a checking account with commas.” I loved it, too, and that became a new target.

A checking account with commas. At the time, it seemed a far off goal, a big stretch, but in less than a year, my checking account regularly sported a comma.

So today I’m suggesting that prosperity may be easier to achieve when we lighten up a bit. Fussing and fretting about a sluggish cash flow has never, ever fixed the problem for me.

On the other hand, going for the comma has produced stellar results.

As has the reminder from Moneylove author Jerry Gilles who taught me that anything worth having is worth having fun getting.

A Foolproof Investment

I’ve learned that following what you love magnifies your talent. You just have to have the faith to invest in it. ~ Leslie Rector

Every day we are inundated with advertising that urges us to buy things that may or may not improve the quality of our lives. Seldom are we encouraged to invest in experiences that will enlarge our inner selves.

One day I got a call from a stockbroker who said, “How would you like to get a higher yield on your investments?” When I told him that my primary investments were my businesses, he said, “Oh, isn’t that scary?”

“Not at all,” I said. “Giving my money to a stranger over the phone is scary.” I wasn’t just being flippant.

My dictionary defines “invest” this way: to spend money or time or effort on something that will bring a profit. To invest implies that you must first put something in in order to get something greater out.

When most people think about investing, it generally involves putting money into something rather cold or impersonal, then waiting in the hope that the investment will grow.

There’s a far lower risk when we invest our money, time and effort in ourselves and our dreams. Although it can be a far better investment to do so, many people have a hard time understanding its importance.

Writer Sondra Ray confronts this attitude. She writes, “Let’s take a look at the priorities on which people spend their money. What comes first? The rent; and this is the worst investment on the list.

“Compare rent with self-improvement. The fact is that self-improvement is the most valuable item on the list and most people don’t even have a category for it. Fear of running out causes you to spend only on things people told you to spend money on.

“When it comes to buying things that are really good for you and that make you happy, guilt comes. When you say, ‘I don’t have enough money to go to that self-improvement seminar or buy that self-improvement book,’ it is almost like saying, ‘I am not a good investment.’

“The best way to make money is to invest in yourself and that is what self-improvement is all about.”

When you invest in yourself and your dreams you are making the most important financial decision of your life. You have also invested in the one thing that lasts a lifetime and cannot be taken away from you.

The ups and downs of the economy have little effect on your investment in yourself. In fact, if you do it whole-heartedly, you’ll acquire skills and tools for circumventing difficult economies.

Author Jim Rohn has some other suggestions about sound investing. “Each month,” he suggests, “set aside a portion of your income and invest it in your search for knowledge. Spend the money to cultivate the sleeping giant inside you. The money—that’s a small price.

“There can be a great deal of difference between cost and value. I used to ask, ‘How much does it cost?’ I’ve learned to ask, ‘What is it worth?’ When I started to base my life on value instead of price, all kinds of things began to happen.

“Missing skills, missing knowledge, missing insight, missing values, missing lifestyle are all a result of not reading books or spending time in seminars or with those who have something to teach you.

“The promise is unlimited potential. More important than money is your next expenditure: time. Alas, there are no shortcuts.

“Fortunately, life has a unique way of rewarding high investment with high return. The investment of time you make now may be the catalyst for major accomplishment.

“Finally, you’ll be making an investment of effort. In everything you do, be it self-observation, reading or observing others, the intensity of your efforts will have a profound effect on the amount of knowledge you gain.

“It is precisely this effort that will open the floodgates to the place where great ideas can work their magic.”

Looking for a great investment? I highly recommend the upcoming Obstacle-Busters Mastermind with Terri Belford and me.

Money Seminar in a Sentence

Over the ages, many eloquent people have made observations about what it really means to be rich. If you have a copy of my book Seminar in a Sentence, you’ve already seen most of these, but they’re certainly worth another visit.

Find your favorite, print it out and use it to help you live more abundantly.

In this world, it is not what we take up, but what we give up that makes us rich. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

Life engenders life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich. ~ Sarah Bernhardt

There are people who have money and people who are rich. ~ Coco Chanel

Money should be the servant of your visions, not their master. ~ Alan Cohen

Wealth is when small efforts produce big results. Poverty is when big efforts produce small results. ~ George David

I knew that to be at home in the world was the way to grow rich. The way I wanted to be rich. ~ Marlena de Blasi

Both having money and not having money make fantastic adventures possible that would not otherwise be possible. Same for having, and not having, anything else. ~ Mike Dooley

Money is the gravy of life, not the meat. ~ Jerry Gilles

Always leave enough time in your life to do something that makes you happy, satisfied, or even, joyous. That has more of an effect on economic well-being than any other single factor. ~ Paul Hawken

An open mind collects more riches than an open purse. ~ Will Henry

It is better to live rich than to die rich. ~ Samuel Johnson

The prosperity of a country depends, not on the abundance of its revenues, nor on the strength of its fortifications, nor the beauty of its public buildings, but it consists in the number of its people of enlightenment and character. ~ Martin Luther

The lack of wealth is easily repaired but the poverty of the soul is irreplaceable. ~ Michel de Montaigne

I count my blessings more than I count my money. ~ Dolly Parton

If your everyday life seems poor, don’t blame it; blame yourself; admit to yourself that you are not enough of a poet to call forth its riches; because for the creator there is no poverty and no poor, indifferent place. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Being rich is not about having a lot of money. Being rich is about having lots of options. ~ Chris Rock

You will never fail as a result of any investment you make in humanizing your business. ~ Anita Roddick

Here’s what would be pitiful: If your income grew and you didn’t. ~ James Rohn

We think much more about the use of money, which is renewable, than we do about the use of time, which is irreplaceable. ~ Jean-Louis Servan-Schreiber

If you are going to let your fear of poverty govern your life your reward will be that you will eat, but you will not live. ~ George Bernard Shaw

Money loses its value the moment you try to hang onto it. Money only has value when you’re willing to let it go. Money has its greatest value when it leaves your hand, because it empowers you to be, do and have something that you choose to be, do and have. ~ Neale Donald Walsch

The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings. ~ David Weinbaum

Ordinary riches can be stolen; real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you. ~ Oscar Wilde

Earning your first income for doing something you love is an important landmark; it’s your first playcheck. Celebrate it, no matter how small. ~ John Williams

Preventing Lifestyle Inflation

Today’s thoughts on making peace with money come from my friend Georgia Makitalo.

Like many people, I had found myself spending my pay increase, windfall or tax refund many times over to the point where I put myself in a worse financial situation-and STILL had nothing to show for it.

What was worse, this financial stress had caused me to become severely stressed and I gained a lot of weight.

Enter Gail Vaz-Oxlade, author of Debt Free Forever and the Canadian show, Til Debt Do Us Part. I had accidentally discovered her show on MSNBC while flipping the channels. I was instantly mesmerized.

The transformation of these couples in financial trouble hit a chord with me. From her budget jars to her relationship rescue challenges, I quickly identified the money issues that I was ignoring with and started to implement her suggestions.

One of the first expenditures that Gail cuts is overspending on pets. i was totally guilty of doing this with my dog Angel. I would go into my local Pet Boutique and walk out with a three figure treat.

“Pets aren’t expensive. The pet lovers are using their pets as an excuse to go shopping.” Gail insists, “Do you really think your dog cares if he’s wearing a $200 sweater?”

Yes, although it was fun to dress up my dog in a sweater from Harrod’s, paying my unexpected car repair gave me more satisfaction.

With this success, I have taken this saving into other areas of my life as well. Before making any purchases, big or small, I hear Gail’s voice in my head “Is this a need or a want?” or “What else could I be doing with this money?” and “Am I setting aside enough to keep this new lifestyle if the crap hits the fan?”

Sure that new skirt fits like a dream—and is on sale—but I will put it back if it does not fit in my current wardrobe. Or do I REALLY need the latest and greatest phone, when mine works perfectly fine?

Lastly, I now use cash for EVERY purchase I make, although I do have a debit card. “When we spend cash we get two responses in our brain: pleasure at the acquisition; pain at having to part with the money.”

Gail Explains. ” When we spend on plastic, there’s no pain. So cash keeps us more in tune with both sides of the transaction; cash helps to keep us balanced.”

Gail is absolutely right. For a while, I did not bother with pulling out cash from my bank and used my debit card instead. This strategy did not work for me because this pleasure/pain duality was not satisfied.

With the debit card, I had overspent and that kept me from putting money into savings. With money taken out each week and put into Gail’s suggested “budget jars”, I am challenged to make that money stretch to the end of the week-and beyond.

The satisfaction I get from succeeding is far more gratifying than any extravagant night out.

Granted, I do treat myself every once in a while, but I save for these occasions, using Gail’s 4 simple rules:

• Don’t spend more money than you make

• Save something

• Get your debt paid off

• Mitigate your risk with an emergency fund and enough of the right kinds of insurance.

I still am dealing with paying off my credit card debt and my two student loans, but now I have a plan to pay off these bills in the next three years. And best of all, I feel in control of my life and my destiny and my figure is responding!

There is no doubt, I have had those dreams of winning the lottery and never having to worry about money, but if have learned that even if you receive such a windfall, this does not guarantee financial freedom.

Recently, I read Sarah Ban Breathnach’s cautionary tale, Peace and Plenty, that tells of her spectacular financial windfall with the success of her book Simple Abundance and then total financial loss.

Sarah had such a great success that she had a “checkbook with no commas” that was quickly spent down to nothing in a matter of a few years.

This eye opening revelation made me realize that like watching what I eat, I need to stick to these 4 simple rules-no matter how much money I made. And in doing so, I will succeed in my goal of living a stress free financial life.

Money Goals That Fit

When I first learned about goal-setting, I thought it was mostly a tool for determining financial aspirations. I promptly wrote down my personal goals, huge numbers beyond anything I’d ever achieved before.

Not much happened to move me ahead financially and eventually I gave up in despair.

Was I destined to be a loser in the Money Game?

Happily, I wasn’t, but it took some inner work before I began to see out changes. Here’s how I moved the numbers on paper into my bank account.

° Understand the four uses of money. It may seem obvious, but many people remain oblivious to the fact that when it comes managing money, there are four very different activities involved.

We can earn it, spend it, save it, invest it.

Most of us excel in one or two of these areas, but neglect the entire spectrum. Money ease comes when we’re wise about all four arenas and give thoughtful attention to each.

Incidentally, this is easier to do when we are self-employed and not hampered by a salary.

° Define enough. I was first introduced to this idea by Charles Handy in his wonderful book, The Hungry Spirit. It was a revelation to me.

Here’s a bit of what he says about that. “In most of life we can recognize ‘enough.’ we know when we have had enough to eat, when the heating or air conditioning is enough, when we have had enough sleep or done enough preparation.

“More than enough is then unnecessary, and can even be seen as counterproductive.”

He goes on to suggest that if we haven’t defined what enough means when it comes to finances, we’ll never be satisfied, never knowing the feeling of abundance.

This is, of course, something each of us needs to define for ourselves.

° Know your own numbers. How many people aspire to millionaire status assuming that this magical milestone will solve all their problems, meet all their needs?

Then there’s the current popularity of programs offering to teach you how to achieve a six-figure income.

Really?

Thinking that there’s some magical number—determined by someone else—that will fit us is ridiculous (and, perhaps, harmful).

° Read this first. A brilliant piece from the New York Times puts Money Happiness into perspective. I urge you to check it out for yourself.

One secret to happiness may be “underindulgence.”

° Now set some goals for yourself. Break your big picture goals into monthly, weekly, daily targets. Challenge yourself to create abundance.

Share. Enjoy. Stretch.

As Alan Cohen reminds us, “Money should be the servant of your visions, not their master.”

Money Ghosts From the Past

Many of the things that block or limit our prosperity are caused by unhealthy beliefs which we may not even know we carry around. I discovered this for myself years ago in a most unpleasant way.

It was early December and I decided to spend the day beginning my Christmas shopping. Normally, I didn’t carry much cash and didn’t have a credit card of my own, but that day I withdrew what seemed like an enormous amount of cash from the bank and headed to downtown Santa Barbara, my hometown at the time.

Almost from the moment I got out of my car, I was gripped with fear. Everyone I passed looked like a mugger to me. After half an hour of this miserable experience, I drove back home empty-handed.

I did, however, get a powerful gift for myself. I realized that I had an unconscious belief that if I had money, people would harm me.

It didn’t take much contemplation to see that unless I changed that belief, I would be unable to ever realize financial success—or ease.

Over the years, I’ve talked to hundreds of people who are carrying around equally destructive money thoughts. That’s really not surprising when you consider how many messages we’ve received about the money over a lifetime.

Although money is a presence in all of our lives, most of us have learned about it (and inherited beliefs from) people that didn’t know that much about it themselves.

If our elders believed, for example, that you either could work for a salary or you could be homeless, we may tremble at the thought of being self-employed and not having a predictable income.

If our elders struggled or argued about money, we may assume that having an adequate income is difficult—or even impossible.

If we undervalue ourselves and what we have to offer the world, we hamper the growth of our businesses.

If you’re married, you may find that you and your partner have different ideas about money matters. As a financial advisor once told me, “Savers tend to marry spenders.”

Then there’s Barbara Stann y’s story. The daughter of one of the founders of H&R Block, Stanny grew up in an affluent household with repeated reminders that she didn’t need to think about money since there was bound to be a man to do that for her.

In her marvelous book, Overcoming Underearning, Stanny recounts how this attitude led her to lose her substantial inheritance to an unscrupulous husband. She rebounded from the experience determined to educate herself and other women about earning and managing money for themselves.

Having ease with earning, investing, managing and saving money is only possible when we challenge the unhelpful messages and take personal responsibility for our financial lives.

Before we proceed farther with our exploration of money, give some thought to the money messages you grew up with. What was helpful? Healthy? Hurtful?

Define for yourself what it means to have ease in money matters. (Hint: this isn’t about pulling a number out of the air.)

As Stuart Wilde points out, “It’s not just the emotional, intellectual, and physical gaps between you and money. The real gap is always between what you think you want and what you actually want, deep down.”

A Month for Making Peace With Money

Much of Sunday was spent playing with my grandchildren. Their parents had a long overdue weekend away and I wanted to help out the lovely young babysitting couple who were beginning to look a bit bedraggled.

Four-year-old Zachy and I spent the better part of an hour playing with Legos. When he lost interest in building a Space Age helicopter, I began picking up the hundreds of tiny pieces that were hiding in the shag rug.

Zachy left the room, When he returned a few minutes later, he declared, “I own you.”

I laughed and said, “What do you mean?” Zachy, who is frequently the most earnest kid I’ve ever met, explained that since I was doing all the work, he needed to pay me.

“Oh,” I said, “you mean you owe me, not own me.”

I asked what he planned to pay me. He had already figured that out.

He left the room and returned with the ziplock bag that serves as his piggy bank. “I’m giving you some of my Chuck E. Cheese tickets,” he proudly announced.

“Hmmm, I’m not really a big fan,” I said. He wondered why. “Well, I don’t like their pizza,” I explained (but avoided adding that I wasn’t crazy about the noisy atmosphere either).

That did not deter him. “You don’t have to get pizza,” he said. “You can use these tickets for the games.” His eyes lit up at the thought of all the fun he was offering me.

I thanked him and took the tickets which I returned to the ziplock bag later.

As so often happens, Zachy got me thinking. I had already decided to spend this month writing about money on this blog, but after this little encounter I realized that so many people are owned by money.

The good news is (as I’ve been pointing out for years) that self-employment is where we come to develop a healthy relationship with money. For most of us, that’s a lifelong project that involves challenging years of negative money messages.

While I’m not about to challenge Suze Orman to a debate, I am going to spend this month sharing ways that you can create abundance, prosperity and ease in the financial area of your life.

And I promise that you’ll never hear me use the popular expression, “in this tough economy.” Prosperity thinking is much bigger than that fear-filled slogan.

As Coco Chanel reminds us, “There are people who have money and people who are rich.” I’m thinking we can be both.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Here’s a money smart idea. Join Terri Belford and me for the upcoming Obstacle- Busters Mastermind on September 14-16 in enchanting Albuquerque. Register before July 15 and you’ll save $100 on your enrollment.

Double Standard at Work?

Several years ago, a friend who worked for a corporation mentioned pirating some new software. When I asked her if that wasn’t illegal, she shrugged and mumbled something about, “Everybody does it.”

Her response reminded me of an article I read years ago in Time magazine called Larceny in Everyday Life. The gist of the piece was that people who considered themselves to be honest often showed no qualms when it came to stealing from their employers. They weren’t talking about embezzlement; they were talking about office supplies or padding an expense account. The big impersonal corporation would never know, never care, they reasoned.

The corporate world is so removed from my daily life that I haven’t given such things much thought lately. Then I came across some advice from a popular Web site that specializes in financial advice. This site had recently gathered some of their favorite articles in a book so I got a copy.

Imagine my surprise when I read a piece about squeezing money from your workplace. Most of the tips sounded more cheapskate than larcenous: bring Tupperware and use it to gather up leftovers in the break room, recharge your electronics at the office. Pretty innocent stuff, I admit, but there’s a bigger issue at play here. What kind of habits are being built?

A woman in one of my seminars told us that she and her boyfriend were thinking of starting a housecleaning business. “If we get paid in cash, we don’t have to declare the income, do we?” she asked.

I pointed out to her that the IRS might never know about these cash infusions, but there was a bigger issue here. “At what point do you plan for your integrity to kick in?” I replied. It’s easy to rationalize small scale larceny, but tiny deeds have a habit of growing.

There was a huge scandal in Minneapolis several years ago when it was discovered that a bank president, who also happened to be a prominent citizen in the community, had embezzled millions of dollars from his customers. Like many criminals, he seemed an unlikely crook, but the evidence proved otherwise.

As this story unfolded, it occurred to me that he hadn’t taken millions all at once. He probably began with a small emergency, maybe told himself that he’d repay the money as soon as possible. Before that could happen, he took a little more. Eventually, he took a lot more.

It’s easy to forget that behavior—good or bad—is cumulative. How we relate to money in general and our own money in particular is establishing patterns that we may be quite unaware of. However, making peace with money requires that we not only notice our patterns, but confront the ones that aren’t working for us, the ones that keep us in bondage. Double standards won’t cut it.

Some Thoughts on Money and Wealth