There’s a group of people that I follow on Twitter who are fascinating and annoying. In high school, we’d have thought of them as the Cool Kids. You remember them, don’t you?

They had their own little posse and allowed the rest of us to watch them. They wouldn’t have been caught dead talking to us, of course.

The grown-up Twitter version of this isn’t much different. The Cool Kids are mostly male with one female who has been allowed into the club. Most of their posts are conversations between themselves or promotions for their own events and products. The female also likes to share glowing testimonials she receives, but the males are more modest.

According to her profile page, the female follows more than 6,000 people.You’d never know it from her Tweets, however. She never shares resources or interesting articles from anyone outside her “awesome peeps” (her term of endearment) clique. She loves slang and acronyms that are a kind of secret code known only to insiders.

Now, of course, there are no rules for how to function on Twitter or on a blog or on any social media site. What we need to understand, however, is that Twitter and Facebook are actually powerful magnifying glasses that seem to enlarge and enliven who we are.

I’m not saying that to scare you. In fact, I think if you aren’t using these free resources to connect with others, you’re doing yourself and your business a disservice.

I’ve always thought that having your own business is where you go to earn your Ph.D in human relations. It’s a long curriculum with plenty of room for error.

Here’s lesson number one: When it comes to your clients, customers and potential clients and customers what’s your sign? Are you putting out the Welcome Mat—or hanging a Do Not Disturb warning?

I  learned about the Do Not Disturb sign from years of flying with Northwest Airlines. Apathy and indifference seemed to pervade the corporate culture. The planes themselves got grubbier and dirtier. Questions were often treated as an irritation and passengers were the enemy.

There wasn’t much smiling going on during the million miles I logged with them.

Once I was not limited to NWA (now Delta) as a carrier, I avoided them at all costs. In fact, I’ve not touched my frequent flyer miles with them despite the fact that I could have a free trip to Europe if I was feeling the need for  more abuse.

On the other hand, my trips these days are mostly on Southwest Airlines and I find myself anticipating these trips because I never  know what friendliness may be in store.

Is the flight attendant heading to Las Vegas auditioning as a standup comedian? Will the passengers be invited to sing  Happy Birthday to a fellow traveler? Will I manage to read all the interesting articles in their in-flight magazine before we land?

Even if you consider yourself to be an introvert, you can assume the position of welcoming host to your business. Start with the Golden Rule and make it your policy to treat everyone as graciously as you possibly can.

In every part of your business where you’re connecting with other people, keep the Welcome Mat  out. (And, certainly, there are times when the Do Not Disturb sign comes in handy—especially if you live with other people who don’t understand that you have a business to build.) Here are a few other reminders:

° Answer all telephone calls with friendly expectation. Yes, it might be a telemarketer on the other end, but unless you’re a really gifted psychic, don’t risk it by sounding grumpy. You voice message also needs to be upbeat as well.

° Get into the conversation on social media sites. If you’ve got gas or you’re bored, keep it to yourself. Praise, share, ask questions, interact. That’s not difficult stuff, but a lot of people  seem to have forgotten.

° Respond quickly whenever possible. Set aside time, if necessary, to catch up on e-mails and phone calls. Dazzle people with your fabulous and thoughtful good manners.

When I moved into my new home last December, I was determined to find the most colorful Welcome Mat available. Not only did I want my visitors to know I was happy to see them, I wanted to remind myself that I was entering a place where good things happened.

There may have been another factor motivating my insistence that I get it right; my downstairs neighbors have a mat in front of their door that growls Go Away. Since I pass by it every time I come home, I felt obligated to counterbalance that grumpy message.

When it comes to your clients, customers and potential clients and customers what’s your sign? Are you putting out the Welcome Mat—or hanging a Do Not Disturb warning?

You don’t have to look very hard to see that every business invites you in—or warns you not to bother them.

I  learned about the Do Not Disturb sign from years of flying with Northwest Airlines. Apathy and indifference seemed to pervade the corporate culture.

As the planes got grubbier and dirtier, the crews got crankier. Questions were often treated as an irritation and passengers were an unfortunate interruption.

There wasn’t much smiling going on during the million miles I logged with them.

Now that I am not limited to NWA (merged with Delta) as a carrier, I avoid them at all costs. In fact, I’ve not touched my frequent flyer miles with them despite the fact that I could have a free trip to Europe if I was feeling the need for more abuse.

On the other hand, my trips these days are mostly on Southwest Airlines and I find myself anticipating these trips since I never know what friendliness may be in store.

Is the flight attendant heading to Las Vegas auditioning as a standup comedian? Will the passengers be invited to sing  Happy Birthday to a fellow traveler? Will I manage to read all the interesting articles in their in-flight magazine before we land?

You don’t need to operate an airline to recognize the importance of sending a message that welcomes.

Of course, there are times when the Do Not Disturb sign comes in handy—especially if you live with other people who don’t understand that you have a business to build, but in every part of your business where you’re connecting with other people, keep the Welcome Mat out.

Here are a few easy ways to do just that:

° Answer all telephone calls with friendly expectation. Yes, it might be a telemarketer on the other end, but unless you’re a really gifted psychic, don’t risk it by sounding grumpy.

Your voice message needs to be upbeat as well. (Skip the trite, “your message is important to us” stuff, however.)

° Get into the conversation on social media sites. If you’ve got gas or you’re bored, keep it to yourself.

Use social media to praise, share, ask questions, interact. That’s not difficult stuff, but it does take conscious effort to do so.

Keep in mind, too, that this is about connecting with other people. No matter how adorable your kitten is, use your own photograph since you’re the one we’re responding to.

° Don’t make busyness an excuse for rudeness. Dazzle people with your fabulous and thoughtful good manners. If you really want to astonish people, send them a hand written thank you note or express your gratitude publicly.

Keep asking yourself if you’ve got your Welcome Mat out. It’s one of the best business building tools you’ve got.

As Anita Roddick reminded us, “You will never fail as a result of any investment you make in humanizing your business.”

 

While I was waiting (and waiting) for UPS to show up with Winning Ways newsletters, I decided to tackle the grungy grout in my tiled entrance. I’m a bit of a fanatic about dirty grout after spending five years in a house with tiled floors in dusty Las Vegas.

(Bonus tip: To clean grout, make a paste of baking soda and peroxide and apply with a battery operated toothbrush. Let stand for a few minutes and mop up.)

As I was polishing, I got thinking about how important it is for me to have a home that welcomes me and others. In fact, one of the first purchases I made for my new condo was a welcome mat that’s covered with bright red and purple flowers.

Everytime I return home and see it, it makes me smile and silently affirm, “I welcome my good.”

It’s a stunning contrast to the doormat outside my downstairs neighbor’s home which declares, “Go Away.” I haven’t met the owner of that place, but I’ve tried to imagine why they choose to make that statement to passersby.

Perhaps it was a housewarming gift that was intended as a joke, I mused. Or maybe they are weary of chasing away paparazzi. Of course, there’s also the possibility that they’re truly anti-social and proud of it.

What kind of welcome mat are you putting out? The way you answer the phone, the ease of navigating your Web site, the speed with which you answer e-mail, the extra effort to right an error, all communicate Welcome or Go Away.

This morning my local public radio station had a lively conversation about annoying background music in stores. Caller after caller talked about being driven out of retail establishments by loud music.

You may have had the same experience.

One woman said she’d accompanied a friend to an emergency animal hospital on the night her friend’s cat had to be put to sleep. They arrived at the hospital and found the waiting room television running a raucous comedy program. “It seemed insensitive,” she said.

It’s easy when we’re busy or distracted to ignore small courtesies, but it’s worth the time and energy to consider how to be as welcoming as possible.

Think of it as regularly scrubbing the grout. Then top it off with the most cheerful welcome mat you can find because, whether we realize it or not, we’re all in the hospitality business.

Orders for Making a Living Without a Job were piling up and my shipment was more than a week overdue. I called my publisher to see if they could track the order and learned that the shipping department was clogged getting Dan Brown’s blockbuster The Lost Symbol out in time for its’ debut.  I was assured that my books should be arriving momentarily.

 

Later in the day, I heard my doorbell and when I opened the door saw the UPS delivery man heading to his truck. Even though it wasn’t my regular driver, I called out to him and said, “Do you allow your customers to kiss you?” He turned around, smiled and walked back up the sidewalk. “Man, I hear ‘You saved my life,’ all the time. Yup, we’re just out here delivering packages and saving lives every day.” I suggested that UPS turn that benefit into a new advertising campaign. 

 

I get a lot of packages from UPS and have noticed that even though I’m on their route late in day, the drivers are always cheerful. My regular driver calls me by name and exchanges a few words even though he’s probably eager to finish his day. It’s a dramatic contrast to the cranky postman who delivers my mail with a snarl. 

 

Yesterday afternoon I decided to sweep my front porch and prune the bush that was intruding into the walkway. As I was puttering, I noticed that the welcome mat by my front door was showing signs of wear and tear. In fact, it says “lcome”. I made a note to replace it soon. After all, I want the UPS guy to know I’m glad he showed up. 

 

Even though my customers do not normally appear at my front door, I am always looking for ways to keep the welcome mat out in my business, too. Seems pretty fundamental to me.

 

You’d think that every entrepreneur would consider it essential to welcome potential buyers and clients to their business, but experience shows that’s not always the case.

 

Consider the less-than-welcoming way some businesses answer their phones. Browse at any flea market or craft fair and you’ll see numerous vendors who are reading a book or chatting with other vendors while ignoring the crowd.  And it’s not just exhibiters that do this: many businessowners seem to wear a “Do Not Disturb” sign—defying anyone to ask them questions or offer them money.

 

Smart entrepreneurs make it their mission to let others know that they are in business to serve. I bet the people that you most like doing business with have their own version of a welcome mat, don’t they? Do you?

Last week I went hunting for a new entrepreneur who had disappeared from Twitter. I discovered that she hadn’t closed her account, but hadn’t participated for months. She had posted some interesting things so I wondered why she’d gone quiet. I sent her a message inquiring into her whereabouts and got a quick, but terse, reply saying, “Decided Twitter’s not for me.”

She’s not the first person I’ve heard voice such an opinion, of course. Another more seasoned entrepreneur, who is currently struggling, refuses to even consider social networking, blogging or any of the handy free tools at her disposal that could ultimately open new avenues of opportunity for her. In fact, she’s never understood the concept of e-mail as a form of conversation.

At the same time, almost everyone agrees that the best marketing–even in our sophisticated high tech world–is word of mouth. As Gary Vaynerchuk, host of Wine Library TV, told CNN, “Twitter is word of mouth on steriods.”  Why wouldn’t you want to take the time to be part of that?  At the very least, it’s an opportunity to promote other joyfully jobless folks. In fact, many social networkers enjoy giving support as much as they enjoy receiving it. (Not surprisingly, they’re the same ones getting lots of support in return, I’ve noticed.)

New entrepreneurs, especially those who are nervous about marketing, tend to hide out behind conventional forms of advertising, keeping a distance as it were. What they fail to realize is that all of us like to do business with people we know and like. And we can’t like you if you don’t let us get to know you.

When it comes to marketing, to creating visibility, to expanding your reach, what’s your sign? I’m not talking about billboards or astrology here. I’m talking about the subtle signs that convey your attitude.

Alas, I see a lot of Do Not Disturb signs, almost daring anyone to come close. That is not the path to healthy longevity in business. If you’re going to succeed, you’ll find a Welcome Mat is far more effective. Connect, collaborate, welcome newcommers into your life. You never know when you’re the answer to somebody’s prayer.

Man without a smiling face must not open a shop. ~ Chinese proverb

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If you’d like to add to your marketing toolkit, join me for Cheap Tricks: Marketing on a Shoestring. I’ll be sharing dozens of free and inexpensive ways to put out the Welcome Mat in Madison, WI on June 18th. I’ll also be teaching Cheap Tricks in other locations this fall.