Cost or Contribute?

Life often seems like an endless series of decisions to be made. Chai latte or decaf Americano? Take a walk or sit at the computer? Plant roses or zinnias? Start a business now or wait until you get fired?

Given the fact that we are called upon to make decision after decision everyday, it would seem reasonable to assume that most of us would have given thought to how we make decisions. We’d have our own decision-making tools that we could employ when needed.

If we l lack such tools, too many decisions are simply based on habit. (Chai latte yesterday, chai latte today, chai latte tomorrow.) That’s not the road to living a creative and inspired life.

Self-doubt—simply not trusting ourselves—is behind much of the indecision we encounter. The sheer abundance of options can make it even more difficult, but living decisively is necessary if we’re to have the richest experience possible.

It may also contribute to our health. According to George Crane, “It is uncertainty or indecision that wears people down and promotes peptic ulcers, high blood pressure and nervous breakdowns.”

Since the decisions we make determine the kind of life that we have, how can we improve our ability to make wise decisions? It may be easier than you think.

My starting point is based on this observation from Stewart Emery: “Nothing in the universe is neutral. It either costs or it contributes.”

That bit of wisdom has simplified decision-making for me ever since I heard it. However, it’s fairly useless without a sense of priority. You need to be clear about what matters most to you and be determined to set up your life to support that.

If being physically healthy is a high priority, every food choice either costs or it contributes. If finishing your book in the next 90 days is a priority, every time choice you make either costs or it contributes. It all comes down to bringing your activities and actions into alignment with your personal goals.

Some decisions require gathering information in advance, of course. Wise leaders in all walks of life have sounding boards, people whose opinions they trust. The trick for us, whether we’re the leader of the free world or not, is to exercise wisdom in choosing the voices we listen to.

Often that means getting advice from strangers, not from those nearest and dearest to us. Then thoughtfully weighing that advice while keeping in mind your ideal outcome, can make the process smoother.

The more familiar you are with your own intuitive voice, the easier it will be to rely on it when it’s time to make a decision—especially a big important one. Even if that’s not your usual method of deciding, here’s an exercise that can be helpful providing you pay attention while you’re doing it.

How can you tell if you really want to do something? Toss a coin. Literally. It works—not because it settles the question for you, but, as the Danish poet and mathematician Piet Hein said, “While the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you’re hoping for.”

Success, prosperity, all the good things in life only come to us after we’ve decided to let them in. Minute by minute and hour by hour, decide in favor of your dreams.

Location, Location, Location

You and I have within us the creative intelligence to recognize the conditions of existence that support our growth and we what the wherewithal to place ourselves in such an environment. ~ Stewart Emery

If you’ve never lived in a place that seemed inhospitable and incompatible with your dreams, you probably have no idea how soul-squashing that can be. Emotional well-being, creativity and the ability to spot opportunities are all hampered when our environment is out of sync with our goals.

Staying in such a place can be an act of self-sabotage.

In The Little Money Bible, Stuart Wilde talks about closing the gap between where you are and where you want to be. He says: “Certain industries are located in certain places in the world. If you’re a long way from where the action is, you may want to consider closing the gap.

“For example, if you want to make it big in movies, you’ve more or less got to be in New York or Los Angeles. Closing the physical distance is a matter of showing up in the marketplace, becoming a face that people know, demonstrating your expertise, and getting into the loop where the movers and shakers are.

“People who could bestow great opportunities on you aren’t scouring the distant hills for talent. They’re in the flow.”

Living in a place that you love is one of the genuine rewards of being self-employed—and it’s not always a city that draws those who work for themselves.

I first noticed this trend among mail order entrepreneurs who frequently seemed to flee urban areas in order to live in quiet, scenic environments.

Gary Comer was a billionaire who frequently showed up on lists of the wealthiest Americans. There’s a good chance that you’ve never heard of him, but he’s a perfect example of what I’m talking about.

Comer started a little mail order company in a garage in Chicago, but once he got a glimpse of the real potential for his business, he relocated it to a rural area of southern Wisconsin. It was there that he built the powerhouse known as Lands’ End.

Why Dodgeville, Wisconsin? Here’s what Comer said about that: “The main reason we are here is that I fell in love with the gently rolling hills and woods and cornfields and being able to see the changing seasons. And then we found that along with all that nature had to offer us, we came to know what a remarkable group of people we were joining with in the community.

“It’s a farm community, and our fellow workers were the sons and daughters of farmers and their families included a fine bunch of kids. We quickly found that they are the kind of people who get up mighty early in the morning, because they may have a cow or two to milk before coming to work. When we first came here, we started small. But the business and the community have been good to us.”

Once you’ve determined what you love most, it seems logical and prudent to do it in a place that you love—and that loves you back. While our personal location may also be determined by demands of our businesses or families, it’s important to remember that we’re living in a new world where technology makes options available to us that were unheard of a few years ago.

You can plunk yourself down on the western slopes of Colorado or in an Alpine village and run an international consultancy. You could follow the lead of the couple who opened a virtual art gallery from their island home near Vancouver.

Perhaps dividing your time, as writer Julia Cameron does, between lively New York City and funky Santa Fe is more your style.

Or maybe your perfect World Headquarters has wheels.

Where you choose to grow your dreams should be as consciously chosen as the dreams themselves. Sometimes a dream that’s not growing needs to be transplanted to more fertile soil. The freedom and willingness to do that is a reward worth cultivating.

Putting the Power of Synergy to Work

It’s easy to imagine people looking at the prolific William Morris and saying, “I wonder how he gets so much done.” During his lifetime, he produced a dazzling body of work that included writing, social activism, publishing and all those intricate textile and wallpapers.

I’ve always suspected that the secret of his enormous output stemmed from the weekends he organized at his home, Red House, where he invited his artistic friends to come and spend the weekend “making things.”

Rossetti, Burne-Jones and the others who came to make up the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood were participants in these Art Weekends.

In gathering all these creative souls around himself and nurturing their talents, he was taking advantage of that extraordinary energy known as synergism.

This phenomenon was first noticed and named by the pharmaceutical industry where it was observed that combining drugs sometimes produced a result greater than the individual parts. The same thing can happen when people gather together and the result is greater than the individual contributions.

In other words, synergy says two plus two equals twelve.

While synergy can occur spontaneously and in unexpected ways, the smart entrepreneur will consciously create situations to help it along.

This is particularly important for those of us who work alone and need to reach out to other self-bossers on a regular basis to take advantage of the rewards of synergism.

Here are some suggestions for doing just that.

 ° Choose carefully. “As I look at my life,” says Stewart Emery, “I notice that all my friends are people who support me in learning the lessons I have to learn. We have consciously chosen each other based on the contribution we can make to each other.”

We all know that both Dreambuilders and Dreambashers inhabit the world. When we share our ideas with the latter, our energy is diminished and the likelihood of accomplishing our dreams dims, too.

While we may not be able to avoid them altogether, we do need to learn to protect ourselves from these psychic vampires and spend time with people who get as excited about ideas as we do.

° Instigate. Create situations and gatherings for the purpose of brainstorming. Form your own small Joyfully Jobless group. Have regular breakfast meetings with another self-bosser.

If you’re feeling really frisky, invite a few trusted folks to go away on a mini-retreat where you spend time away from normal demands and concentrate on generating ideas for all members of the group.

You could even host your own Art Weekends ala William Morris.

° Show up. You’re  more likely to be the recipient of synergistic energy at a seminar than you are watching old reruns on television.  Today many people are enthusiastic participants in social media on the Internet. While this may be an efficient way to share information, it’s not the same as being in the presence of other people.

Communication is more than just words and, in fact, nonverbal communication is hugely important. As Mary Pipher so eloquently puts it, “To have a real life people must participate in real communities.”

Get involved in events and activities where ideas are encouraged and flow easily.

° Be opportunity-minded. My friend Chris Utterback and I seldom had a conversation without one of us exclaiming, “Oh, there’s a great business idea!” We always were observing the things around us with the attitude of finding better ways of doing things or discovering something that was missing.

Often this led us to giving ideas away to others who could carry them out.

More importantly, it conditioned us to see the world as a place filled with abundance and unlimited opportunities. We knew that we’d never run out.

Connect, collaborate, create and watch how synergy  helps you to build a better business.

Or as Jim Rohn pointed out, “You cannot succeed by yourself. It’s hard to find a rich hermit.”

Plant Where You Are Blooming

Even as a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in different places, not just visit them. I’m not sure where this notion came from since I certainly hadn’t traveled far from my small town in Minnesota.

Eventually, I put down roots in Sun Prairie, WI (where I found the courage to start my first business), Santa Barbara, CA (a gorgeous place that wasn’t a good fit for me), Boulder, CO (another gorgeous misfit), Minneapolis, MN (a hothouse for my dreams), Las Vegas, NV (it was time to shake up my life) and, now, Valencia, CA.

The diversity of these hometowns confirmed my suspicions that the place we call home can make a profound impact on our lives.

When I began traveling around the country teaching my seminars, I was fascinated by the regional differences I found. We don’t just dress differently, attitudes are heavily influenced by the area we inhabit.

It wasn’t until I read Stewart Emery’s Actualizations that I understood how our environment influences us. Here’s his marvelous metaphor:

 If you were a willow tree living by a riverside, the environmental conditions of your existence would support your evolution toward becoming a self-actualized willow tree. Your relationship with the environment would result in you developing all the qualities one would expect to see in a self-actualized willow tree. 

If, on the other hand, you were a willow tree and you were planted in the desert, the chances of your making it as a self-actualized willow tree would be virtually nil. The environmental conditions of your existence simply wouldn’t allow it.

On a very fundamental level, what is true for the willow tree is true for you and me. If we are in an environment that supports our evolution toward self-actualization, then it will happen, and if we are not, then it won’t happen.

However, you and I have some qualities that the willow tree does not possess. The willow tree does not possess qualities that allow it to select its environment. 

In other words, a will tree that finds itself planted in the desert cannot hail a passing yellow cab and ask the driver to take it to the riverside.

You and I, on the other hand, can.

This month we’re going to explore Habitats. Thanks to technology, we have tools for creating the perfect place for ourselves that has nothing to do with geography.

If you feel that you are far removed from your perfect place, you may not need a moving van to get you there. If you feel that a move is in order, we’ll look at some preliminaries that can make it the richest possible experience.

As Stewart Emery reminds us, “You and I have within us the creative intelligence to recognize the conditions that support our growth and we have the wherewithal to place ourselves in such an environment.”

We can plant ourselves where we will bloom.

Dithering or Decisive?

Life often seems like an endless series of decisions to be made. Chai latte or decaf Americano? Take a walk or sit at the computer? Plant roses or zinnias? Start a business now or wait until you get fired?

Given the fact that we are called upon to make decision after decision everyday, it would seem reasonable to assume that most of us would have given thought to how we make decisions. We’d have our own decision-making tools that we could employ when needed.

If we  lack such tools, too many decisions are simply based on habit. (Chai latte yesterday, chai latte today, chai latte tomorrow.) That’s not the road to living a creative and inspired life.

Self-doubt—simply not trusting ourselves—is behind much of the indecision we encounter. The sheer abundance of options can make it even more difficult, but living decisively is necessary if we’re to have the richest experience possible.

It may also contribute to our health. According to George Crane, “It is uncertainty or indecision that wears people down and promotes peptic ulcers, high blood pressure and nervous breakdowns.”

Since the decisions we make determine the kind of life that we have, how can we improve our ability to make wise decisions? It may be easier than you think.

My starting point is based on this observation from Stewart Emery: “Nothing in the universe is neutral. It either costs or it contributes.”

That bit of wisdom has simplified decision-making for me ever since I heard it.

However, it’s fairly useless without a sense of priority. You need to be clear about what matters most to you and be determined to set up your life to support that.

If being physically healthy is a high priority, every food choice either costs or it contributes. If finishing your book in the next 90 days is a priority, every time choice you make either costs or it contributes.

It all comes down to bringing your activities and actions into alignment with your personal goals.

Some decisions require gathering information in advance, of course. Wise leaders in all walks of life have sounding boards, people whose opinions they trust. The trick for us, whether we’re the leader of the free world or not, is to exercise wisdom in choosing the voices we listen to.

Often that means getting advice from strangers, not from those nearest and dearest to us. Then thoughtfully weighing that advice while keeping in mind your ideal outcome, can make the process smoother.

The more familiar you are with your own intuitive voice, the easier it will be to rely on it when it’s time to make a decision—especially a big important one.

Even if that’s not your usual method of deciding, here’s an exercise that can be helpful providing you pay attention while you’re doing it.

How can you tell if you really want to do something? Toss a coin. Literally. It works—not because it settles the question for you, but, as the Danish poet and mathematician Piet Hein said, “While the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you’re hoping for.”

Success, prosperity, all the good things in life only come to us after we’ve decided to let them in. Minute by minute and hour by hour, decide in favor of your dreams.

 

The Crooked Path to Our Dreams

On May 24, 2002, I happened to see a Breaking News story on CNN about an apartment building in Los Angeles that had suffered an explosion. The immediate cause was unknown, but when they reported the address, I panicked.

This was the building where my daughter Jennie, her partner Hector and their pug Emmit lived. I called Jennie’s phones, but got no answer on either.

The next forty-five minutes were the longest of my life. Finally the call came saying they were fine.

They had stepped out to run an errand just before the explosion occurred.  Even though they didn’t normally take Emmit with them, that day they decided he needed an outing.

The next few weeks were chaotic since the building was uninhabitable. Jennie and Hector had to quickly find a new apartment, although most of their possessions were impounded in the old place. It was months before things settled down.

By May 24, 2003, Jennie and Hector were the new owners of a gorgeous house that came with a magnificent backyard garden. As the three of us sat on the patio, we began talking about the dramatic events of a year earlier.

“That was the best day of my life,” said Hector, “Although I didn’t know it at the time.”  None of us knew, of course, that the horrible events of that day would mysteriously lead to this wonderful new home.

Almost everyone has a story about a loss or disappointment that turned out to be a blessing. The tricky part, for most of us, is to recognize that when our plans go awry, there may be greater forces at work.

Although it can be challenging, it’s important to keep looking for the opportunities that may be hidden behind a disappointment—or even a disaster.

That can be easier to do if we remember that everything doesn’t have to go right in order to ultimately succeed. If a plan unfolds without a hitch it might be wise to be suspicious. After all, dreams are here to teach us how to be more, not just to have more.

Stewart Emery  tells a story about flying in the cockpit of a plane going to Hawaii and learning that every flight is a series of corrections. He says, “If we could see that we can get a 747 to Hawaii, having been in error 90 percent of the time, we might be a little less uptight about being in error ourselves…Somehow people have the notion that they are going to get away from failure, that they are going to succeed enough never to fail again. That option is simply not available; it is like trying to eat once and for all.”

Before you encounter another delay or disappointment, decide to challenge yourself to find opportunities that are hidden, along with those which are obvious.

While you’re at it, give yourself permission to be in error much of the time. Know that ultimate success is a process of accumulation and that you’ll accumulate both victories and defeats along the way.

Or just memorize these words from Paulo Coehlo: “Too often we decide to follow a path that is not really our own, one that others have set for us. We forget that whichever way we go the price is always the same: in both cases we will pass through both difficult and happy moments.

“But when we are living our dreams, the difficulties that we encounter make sense.”

A Place to Flourish

When I was growing up in a small town in southern Minnesota, I dreamed of living in other places. That didn’t simply mean relocating to another spot for the rest of my days, however. 

I intuitively knew that different places would make different contributions to my life. It took a while to put this plan into motion, but my journey  took me from Janesville, MN to Sun Prairie, WI to Santa Barbara, CA to Boulder, CO to Minneapolis, MN and now to Las Vegas, NV.

It’s obvious to me  that each place either supported my goals at the time or the lessons I had to learn. It wasn’t just a change of scenery that I was seeking. I was looking to grow myself.

When I read Stewart Emery’s brilliant book Actualizations, I finally understood my urge to relocate. It was about much more than having a different view from my window. He wrote:

If you were a willow tree living by the riverside, the environmental conditions of your existence would support your evolution toward becoming a self-actualized willow tree.

If,  on the other hand, you were a willow tree and you were planted in the desert, the chances of your making it as a self-actualized willow tree would be virtually nil. The environmental conditions of your existence simply wouldn’t allow it.

It wouldn’t make any difference if you really wanted to be a self-actualized willow tree. It would not happen.

On a very  fundamental level, what is true for the willow tree is true for you and me.

If we are in an environment that supports our evolution toward self-actualization, then it  will happen, and if we are not, then it won’t happen.

However, you and I possess qualities or attributes that allow it to select its environment. You and I have within us the creative intelligence to recognize the conditions of existence that support our growth toward self-actualization, and we have the wherewithal to place ourselves in such an environment.

If we fail to recognize and construct environmental conditions that support our well-being, then we will have a colorless existence as members of the living dead.

For the past  two weeks, I’ve been working diligently on the upcoming issue of Winning Ways newsletter. The theme for this one is gardening and I realized that while there are some horticultural basics that most of us know, we haven’t had much encouragement to create the circumstances that support our own growth.

Fortunately, we can determine that for ourselves and put ourselves in nurturing environments. And we don’t have to move across the country to do so.

Does your habitat contribute to your growth? Or is it holding you back? Look up from your computer. What do you see? Inspiring books? Pictures that make you smile? Clutter? 

What about the people you hang out with? Are they cheering you on or holding you hostage? Been to any seminars lately that stretched your imagination?

 Is your habitat a desert or a riverbank?

*************************

Join Terri Belford, Alice Barry and me in glorious Sedona for Inspired Livelihood, April 16 & 17, and you’ll leave with a portfolio of ideas and plans for making your habitat the most nurturing place on Earth.

Friends With Passion

Before I became friends with Georgia Makitalo, I had never heard of the Pre-Raphaelites or knew their intriguing story, although I was familiar with the name William Morris who founded this creative group. 

Frank Lloyd Wright was just the name of a famous architect to me until Jill McDermott and I became friends. 

Both Georgia and Jill were wildly passionate about their creative heroes and it was contagious. I wanted to know what they knew. Fortunately, they loved to share.

Georgia and I made several excursions hunting down William Morris and his tribe. We traveled to Toronto, Delaware and London looking at treasures these artists had left behind. Georgia also regaled me with stories of their romantic exploits and intrigues. 

I was especially fascinated by her stories about the weekends Morris organized at Red House, his country home, where he invited his artist friends to come spend the time together making things. 

Then there was the road trip Jill and I made from Minnesota to Washington, DC that included stops at Wright sites in the Chicago area and at the landmark Fallingwater in Pennsylvania.

We had made a shorter road trip previously to visit Wright’s Taliesin in Spring Green, Wisconsin.  Today, Jill and her husband Mike live down the road from this beautiful place which served as an inspiration to Wright for many years.

As Jill and Georgia taught me, friends with passion can make a powerful impact—even if their passions seem to be quite different from our own.

The late philosopher Jim Rohn frequently urged his audiences to seek out and build relationships with people who could help them grow into their best selves. It’s an undertaking that lasts a lifetime, although it requires an investment of time. 

It also needs to be done consciously. 

One of the best descriptions of this process comes from Stewart Emery in his book Actualizations. He writes, 

As I look at my own life, I notice all my friends are people who support my learning the lessons I have to learn.

In other words, their reality is more centered and more together in some aspects of life than mine is, and my reality is more evolved than some aspect of theirs.

I choose to be with people who have a reality of abundance. I won’t hang out with people who have a reality of scarcity. I won’t hang out around people who have negative energy flows.

Everything I have learned how to do in life I learned by placing myself in the company of masters. Although I read a lot and learned technical things from books, the discovery of a way of being and acting that worked for me and others came as a result of spending time with men and women who act in the world with excellence, joy and service. 

Of course, what Emery’s talking about isn’t a one-way street. Bring your own passion to relationships and everybody profits. That’s my idea of a really great investment.