Friend or Foe?

On a visit to my daughter in California a few years ago, I saw a story on the local news about the hottest yoga classes in Los Angeles. It wasn’t because they were teaching a new form of yoga that was bringing in droves of practitioners; it was the environment they created. Besides having a serenely lovely studio, a live string quartet played throughout the classes. Blissful.

It was a dramatic contrast to the beat up old van we’d see parked around Encino bearing a big sign saying, “Yoga. First class free.” Jennie and I had decided that van did not look like a vehicle belonging to someone who had found inner peace. 

Same service, very different messages.

When it comes to talking about money, there are also vividly contrasting messages. Ever heard anyone say:

How much did that set you back?

I don’t know. Looks pretty spendy to me.

Wonder what scam they ran to get their money? 

Do you think money grows on trees?

In his book Relax Into Wealth, Alan Cohen succinctly captures the difference between those who view money as the enemy and those who see it as a trusted friend. He writes, “Money is not the answer to our prosperity problems. Wisdom is the answer. The only thing more valuable than money is knowing what to do with it. If someone does not know how to use money wisely, no amount of money will help them. If someone has a good money consciousness, they can take a tiny seed and grow it into a lush garden. If they have a poor money consciousness, they can take a huge gift and squander it in short order. Money is not the root of all evil; ignorance is.”

If you’re carrying around unhelpful attitudes about money, if you’ve inherited your elders’ own ambivalence about it, you’ll be broadcasting it as loudly as the owner of that beat up van. It’s nearly impossible to create a joyfully jobless life without creating a healthy relationship with money. The good news is that examining and changing poverty attitudes is not that difficult, although it does require vigilance. 

Promise yourself that you’ll never be a person who thinks of spending money as “setting you back” or that wealth is only possible for the dishonest. Most of all, consider what Jerry Gilles says in Moneylove: “Working at something just for the money is an act of poverty consciousness at its worst. It’s saying to yourself, ‘I haven’t the talent or imagination to earn money doing something I really enjoy.’”

There are numerous books that can be helpful in transforming our relationship with money. Alan Cohen’s Relax Into Wealth that I mentioned earlier is a great introduction, as as Earn What You Deserve by Jerrold Mundis. Unfortunately, Jerry Gilles’ Moneylove is long out of print, but if you can track down a copy, it’s worth it.