Patience, Persistence & Postage

Years ago, I stumbled across Helene Hanff’s 84, Charing Cross Road on the shelves of the Santa Barbara Public Library. Although I knew nothing about the book, I soon discovered a kindred spirit. The book is a collection of letters written between Hanff, a struggling New York writer and booklover, and the manager of a London bookshop from whom she ordered books. As time went on, the letters became more personal as the two correspondents became great friends.

I adored the book, although it was a long time before I found out that the story didn’t end there. When Hanff learned that her friend had died (without them ever meeting), she gathered up their letters, thinking they might make an interesting magazine article. Eventually, a publisher saw her manuscript and suggested the letters be turned into a book. Not only did the book receive rave reviews, it became a favorite of Anglophiles and booklovers everywhere. A few years later, the story was made into a BBC production, then a stage play, and, in 1987, a movie starring Anne Bancroft and Anthony Hopkins.

In her subsequent book, The Duchess of Bloomsbury Street, Hanff writes, “I tell you, life is extraordinary. A few years ago I couldn’t write anything or sell anything. I’d had my chance and done my best and failed. And how was I to know the miracle waiting to happen around the corner in late middle age? 84, Charing Cross Road was no bestseller, you understand; it didn’t make me rich or famous. It just got me hundreds of letters and phone calls from people I never knew existed; it got me wonderful reviews; it restored a self-confidence and self-esteem I’d lost somewhere along the way. It brought me to England. It changed my life.”

The editors of the original Contest News-Letter used to remind their readers that the secret of winning sweepstakes was patience, persistence and postage. Seems to me those same qualities are the basis of Hanff’s success—and all sorts of other stories that inspire.

People tell me all the time that they have no role models around them. The truth is, they’re just not paying attention. Wonderful stories of success are everywhere, even if we don’t personally know the leading character. After all, it’s not so much a matter of finding role models as it is about recognizing them…and being smart enough to learn what they have to teach.

In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists. ~ Eric Hoffer

Done With Living a Fearful Life?

 

As you know, fear is a powerful emotion. When it’s doing its job, it helps us avoid danger and harm. (Don’t get in the elevator with that scary man.) On the other hand, fear can take over and keep us from ever discovering our purpose, passion and possibility. 

Fear doesn’t have to run our lives–no matter what the state of the world. As the wise Persian poet Hafiz pointed out: “Fear is the cheapest room in the house. You deserve better accomodations.”

Life and business coach Betty Mahalik, owner of Dynamic Solutions,  tackled this subject brilliantly in her Monday Morning Coaching e-mail with a piece called  I’ve Had it With Fear. 

 I urge you to read it at once if you’re looking for better accomodations. 

 

Genuine VIPs

In his chapter on fear in The War of Art, Steven Pressfield has this to say:”We know that if we embrace out ideals, we must prove worthy of them. And that scares the hell out of us. What will become of us? We will lose our friends and family, who will no longer recognize us. We will wind up alone, in the cold void of starry space, with nothing and no one to hold on to.

“Of course this is exactly what happens. But here’s the trick. We wind up in space, but not alone. Instead we are tapped into an unquenchable, undepletable, inexhaustible source of wisdom, consciousness, companionship. Yeah, we lose friends. But we find friends too, in places we never thought to look. And they’re better friends, truer friend. And we’re better and truer to them.”

I’ve been thinking about these words alot lately as I’ve been dazzled by the helpful, delightful, creative people that are in my life. Some of them have been around for a long time; others I’m just getting to know. I seem to consistently attract people who are curious, adventurous and committed to making a difference. I think of them as my personal faculty in my own journey of discovery.

My experience seems to contradict a number of recent polls that show more and more of us feel isolated and lonely. This phenomenon does not just affect adults; kids in school often feel disconnected from their peers. Consequently, isolation is often a concern for people who contemplate solo entrepreneurship. Will they end up talking to their cat?

It’s possible, I suppose, but it’s also the antithesis of the entrepreneurial life. Being an entrepreneur is about connecting and collaborating with others. In fact, one of my earliest observations about the Joyfully Jobless life was that this is where we come to get our Ph.D. in human relations.

When we make changes in our lives, it’s natural that the cast of characters around us may change as well. There will be newcomers that join us and there will be old-timers that disappear. There will also be permanent cast members who welcome and weather the changes. The wise person consciously chooses to include people who enrich, challenge and delight. In the end our best relationships are built on a balance of contribution.

Do not surround yourself with people who do not have dreams. ~ Nikki Giovanni

Time to Learn?

 Been wondering if you should take time to attend Compelling Storytelling 

or some other Special Event? Here are a few signs that the time is right.

 

√ You’ve reached all of your goals.

√ You’ve reached none of your goals.

√ You are in need of some fresh ideas.

√ You’d like to get a new perspective from a genuine dreambuilder.

√ Your kids think you’re a nerd and you suspect they’re right.

√ You can’t remember the last time you felt really excited about something.

√ You have more ideas than you know what to do with.

√ You ‘re scared to death of your real dreams.

√ You’re ready for a new adventure.

√ You remember that a change of scenery always refreshes you.

√ You know you’d be inspired by spending time with other dreambuilding entrepreneurs.

√ You aren’t making the kind of progress that you’d like.

√ Nobody ever asks you what’s new.

√ You need time to figure out your next step.

√ You want to be bolder.

√ Resistance is stronger than inspiration.

√ You’re ready to have more fun with your business.

√ You think boring and ordinary are the scariest words in the English language.

√ You want to expand your entrepreneurial network.

√ You believe your dreams are a good investment.

√ Your creative spirit needs a jumpstart.

√ You’re tired of trying to fit someone else’s idea of who you should be.

√ You think Compelling Storytelling sounds like fun.

 

 

A Vote for Your Success

 

At the end of the late night rally in Orlando last week, Barack Obama talked about stories and told the crowd, “Everyone here has a story. I want your stories to be heard.” 

 Marketing genius Seth Godin blogged today about lessons for marketers from the campaign. I’d been noticing how effectively–and ineffectively– storytelling has been used during this campaign. So has Godin, of course. He writes, “Mainstream media isn’t powerful because we have no other choices. It’s powerful because they’re still really good at writing and spreading stories, stories we listen to and stories we believe.”

As everyone knows I’ve become wildly passionate about the power of storytelling as a marketing tool. It’s also powerful in social situations and indispensable if you’re a public speaker. 

Nicole Stone was a participant in the first Compelling Storytelling seminar last February. She’s the owner of Spirited Impact and a delightful young woman to be around. Here’s what she has to say nine months after taking the seminar.

I really feel like everyone who owns a business needs this seminar. Take a break and more than triple your productivity at the same time! It’s working on yourself and on your business all at the same time. It’s the foundation for what we are offering the world.

Take the time to work on yourself and your business. It’s a great way to get a break and be productive at the same time. Built in entertainment, dinner out and reflection, camaraderie and friendships that will last a lifetime.

And I found it was conducive to some real personal reflection and growth which is absolutely necessary for your business to work and grow. I took everything I began at the three days I spent at Compelling Storytelling with Alice and Barbara, and got everything done that I had been putting off for months. 

I also feel that I became connected to my classmates in a deep and lasting way that is coming back to me tenfold.

Compelling Storytelling is a step toward what your heart wants that your mind won’t let you spend time creating.

I found my voice at this seminar and it completely changed my  writing style. I used to feel stuck about how to talk about my business, but now I have the confidence and perspective to write everything myself quite successfully. It’s all because of this seminar.

Alice Barry and I would love to help everyone learn to tell their stories in a powerful and compelling way, but time is running out to join us at the next event which happens on December 2-4. Clear your calendar, book your flight, let us know you’re coming. This could be the most unforgettable trip to Las Vegas you’ll ever take. After all, the odds are much better that you’ll get more back than you spend. Nobody else in Vegas has those odds.

Your job is to make your audience care about your obsessions. ~ Bruce Springsteen

The Power of Practice

My brother Jim lives in California and is an avid surfer. He’s also 62 years old. One day we were talking on the phone and he said,  “I was driving to the beach yesterday morning and it was still dark. I was thinking, ‘Why am I doing this?’”

“You’re doing it so you can have a lively old age,” I suggested. 

He laughed and said, “You know I surf  better now than I did thirty years ago.” I pointed out that he’d also been disciplined about keeping at it. “I still love it,” he said, then added, “You’ve got to ride more waves. It all goes in the bank.”

So what do you want to be better at doing thirty (or ten) years from now? Whatever your answer is, the time to start working on it is right now. In his wonderful little book, Mastery, George Leonard says, “We tend to assume that mastery requires a special ticket available only to those born with exceptional abilities. But mastery isn’t reserved for the supertalented or even those who are fortunate enough to have gotten an early start. It’s available to  anyone who is willing to get on the path and stay on it—regardless of age, sex or previous experience.”

We live in a time of instant results and instant gratification—not a culture that’s conducive to taking on a project and sticking with it for years. This quick results attitude aborts many wonderful ideas. Kids seem to understand the power of practice better than their elders. After all, they’re learning everything from the ground up, but oo many adults are not as willing to invest the time and effort. What a shame. Practice has other rewards besides ultimate mastery.

Recently I wrote about John Higgins, the reluctant Compelling Storytelling attendee, and I mentioned that he’d begun a daily writing practice. Here’s what he wrote to me after I pointed that out.

Thank you for writing that I had started a “writing practice.”  I had not thought of writing as I do my work with visually  impaired people as “a practice”  and now I do which gives makes it a bigger priority and much more real in my mind. 

A practice. A writing practice. A daily commitment to the discipline of writing. 

I have always loved how “practice” means too that we never stop learning and never have all the answers but we continue to practice our skills. 

I take it one step further and remind myself to practice the process and not perfection.  This keeps me from freezing up and resisting out of fear of failure because I learned that if I could not do something perfectly I would not do it at all.  Took me years to become aware I was a perfectionist that way. 

So, I practice. And, I have a writing practice. 

Damn, I like the sound of that!

 My first teacher told me, “You only have to practice on the days that you eat.” ~ Hilary Hahn

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One of the nice bonuses of living in Las Vegas is reading Steven Kalas’ Human Matters column in the Sunday paper. Today’s piece is called Those Pursuing a Calling Serve as Inspiration to Others. Take a look for yourself.

 

Have a Nicer Flight

Many things improve with age; airline travel is not one of them.  Even before increased airport security slowed things down, the flying experience was loaded with stress-inducing delays and rude behavior. Frequent flyers just grit their teeth and bear it as best they can, but a bit of pre-planning can improve the quality of the experience enormously.  

Since I spend part of every month traveling by air, I try to make my flights an exercise in creative time management.  I don’t always succeed in arriving at my destination as cool and relaxed as I might wish, but I have noticed that I survive better than many of my fellow passengers who stagger off the plane looking as if they had just endured an ordeal from which they might never recover.  

How can you avoid an exhausting flight?  Here are some simple things that can make a big difference in lowering the stress and hassles of airline travel.

 ° Be considerate of your fellow passengers.  Sounds obvious to me, but considering the number of folks I see who seem oblivious to others, this one needs mentioning.  My personal pet peeve is people seated in the back of the plane who fill the front overhead bins with their luggage so they don’t have to carry it so far.  Later boarders, assigned to the front seats, have no place to stow their stuff.  That’s both annoying and rude.  Equally irritating are portable video games that produce sounds when they’re played. Cramped airplanes, indifferent service and bad food are annoyances enough. Don’t be part of the problem, if you can help it. Your fellow passengers are not your adversaries, after all. Think of your flight as a perfect place to practice putting the Golden Rule into action.

 ° Come prepared to amuse yourself.  I’m often surprised by the tacky books I seen my flying companions reading, books hastily purchased at the airport gift shop. If you know you have a couple of hours that would be ideal for reading, why not be selective and use it to read something worthwhile?  Don’t depend on airline magazines or in-flight movies to keep you occupied, either. Many airlines have eliminated both magazines and movies on domestic flights 

 ° Carry a snack.  Even on short flights, you may be overcome with hunger.  Depending on the airport to provide food can be dicey. It’s worth the extra trouble to bring something healthy along. Dried fruit, nuts and crackers are great portable snacks.  Once a year, I eat an airport hot dog.  That cures me of neglecting to carry my own provisions.  With all the other stresses you’re going to encounter on a trip, it makes sense to take control of your eating so hunger or bad nutrition don’t add to the strain.

 ° Simplify, simplify.  It’s astonishing to see the amount of stuff people drag along when they travel.  If you travel regularly, keep a toiletry bag stocked.  You might also have underwear, nightwear, a hairdryer and an umbrella stowed in your suitcase ready to go. Pare your travel wardrobe to the bare minimum and refuse to pack anything “just in case”.  I also suggest that you proudly carry cheap luggage. The expensive stuff doesn’t survive baggage handling any better than the bargain bags so if you’re going to have to replace it regularly, spend as little as possible to begin with.

 ° Be more than a traveler.  Having something exciting to look forward to can lower the irritation encountered getting there. Once you’ve arrived, be creative about the way you’ll spend your time at your destination.  While it’s not always possible to indulge yourself on every trip, anticipating at least one special pleasure at trip’s end will have a positive impact on your attitude—which is the most important weapon you have for combating whatever unpleasant surprises you encounter on the way.

Those who never venture into the world don’t have many stories to tell. ~ Annette Simmons

Kindness Appreciated

About six weeks ago, I wrote about my trip to the Dale Chihuly exhibit in San Francisco. Nevertheless, I was surprised to open my mailbox this morning and discover a large package from Chihuly Studios. Since I knew I hadn’t ordered anything from there, I thought it might be a belated birthday gift. I was wrong. It was a gift from Chihuly’s executive assistant and included a copy of one his books and a compilation DVD. 

What had prompted this gift? I wasn’t the random winner of a drawing, but the recipient of a thank you that came in response to something I’d sent the artist a couple of months ago. Here’s the original letter I sent:

Like many parents and grandparents, I was delighted to discover your art kit for kids and gave it to my three-year-old granddaughter last Christmas. Long before she was toilet trained, Zoe approached making art with an earnestness and concentration that seemed exceptionally mature. I had also been talking to her about Venice and about your work, which she had seen at Bellagio.

A couple of months ago, Zoe and I began exploring the kit. First we did the Marshmallow Madness exercise and then we went back to her room and talked a little bit about some other things in the book. She turned to a blank page and drew an oval and the little body underneath. I asked what she was doing and she said, “I’m drawing Chihuly as a boy.” While she was working, I said, “You know, Chihuly says he never met a color that he didn’t like.” She didn’t acknowledge that she’d heard me, but kept on working. When I saw the final picture, I knew she had taken in what I said.

So I present to you, a copy of Chihuly as a Boy by Zoe Barron.

Thank you for bringing so much beauty and joy to the world—and inspiring the next generation of artists.

Of course, I was thrilled to get the response, but that wasn’t why I wrote the letter in the first place. Showing appreciation to people who enrich my life is a longtime hobby. Sometimes I get an answer back, but even when I don’t, I know that I’m adding to the pool of kindness in this world. We simply can’t have too much of that.

Genuine giving feeds joyfulness. The more generosity, the greater joy. And we can be more generous than we ever thought possible. ~ Geri Larkin

Funding Comes Second

It happens every time I announce a new special event. Almost immediately, I begin getting messages that say, “Someday I’d love to attend your Storytelling seminar.” Or “When will you be doing your Storytelling event in Alaska?” These questions suggest that many people haven’t learned one of the basics of successful self-bossing.

Several years ago when Valerie Young announced our upcoming Making Dreams Happen event, she was deluged with e-mails from people saying they’d like to attend but couldn’t afford the enrollment fee. She called me to see if I had any  ideas about how to handle this onslaught. I pointed out that since this event was about bringing dreams into reality, getting there was the first exercise. The ever-creative Valerie issued a challenge to her readers asking them to share what they were doing to fund the conference. We got wonderful stories about the creative ways that participants found to be involved. 

A year earlier, two friends and I decided we wanted to take a little vacation. My cash flow was good so I had the funds; they’d both spent the previous months working on writing projects that had yet to pay off so their cash flow was squeaky. Once we set the goal for the trip, however, they both swung into action. They  had each built a nice little portfolio of cash flow options that included things like selling on eBay, doing market research, spending a Sunday as a flea marketing vendor. In less than two weeks, they both had the money  they  needed for the trip.

Last year, another entrepreneurial friend was experiencing a cash flow slowdown and decided to get creative. She wanted something that wouldn’t distract too much from other projects she was working on, so she put an ad on her local Craigslist offering her services as a pet sitter in her home. Not long after, I  was talking to her and she proudly announced, “I just passed the $1000 mark with petsitting.” 

So the order of making things happen is this: goal first, funding second. What successful goalsetters know is that the process goes something like this: focus on a goal, brainstorm obvious and crazy ways to make it happen, start taking action. Keep going until the goal is met. Set another goal and repeat.

You can do anything you want to do. I mean it. Blunder ahead. ~ Robert Henri

 

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I heard a terrific story on public radio’s Weekend Edition today about a school in the Chicago area called Ag High which teaches agricultural and entrepreneurial subjects along with academics. The school’s director had some insightful things to say about the value of this broad curriculum. I urge you to check it out for yourself.