Want Better Answers?

We humans are born question askers. Listen to any toddler and you’ll hear a stream of questions about any subject that catches their attention. “Why?” is the most frequently used word in their vocabularies.

During the days when I taught high school English, I used to say that my idea of hell was being in a roomful of teenagers all screaming, “Do we have to?” It was a question that often erupted after I gave a challenging assignment.

Questions are such a common part of everyday communication that most people don’t give much thought to them.  I’d like to suggest that you to pay more attention.

I started to do so when I noticed that a popular television talk show host seemed to turn the most fascinating guests into complete bores. As I watched more closely, I discovered that his questions often led to dead ends, giving his guests no place to go or no story to tell.

People who have charisma, who draw others to themselves, usually have a reputation for being good listeners. Part of their secret, it seems to me, is that they ask great questions to begin with and then give their full attention to the answer, prodding and encouraging when necessary.

They make people feel valued because they listen to the answers.

Asking good questions isn’t just a way to win friends and influence people, however. It’s an overlooked key to success.

Not all questions are illuminating. Many, in fact, stop us dead in our tracks. “How are you going to do that?” or “Why haven’t I gotten farther?” are the kinds of questions that lead us down the path of doubt, not dreams.

Learning to ask better questions of ourselves can get us headed in the right direction and keep us moving forward.

Mark Victor Hansen and Robert Allen, the authors of The One Minute Millionaire, point out that when we ask the wrong questions we condemn ourselves to living below our potential. They write, “If you ask yourself, ‘How do I earn or create a million dollars?’ your mind goes to work to discover the answer. Your mind is compelled to work ceaselessly until a satisfactory answer is found.

“Note that most individuals ask themselves questions like these: ‘How do I get a job, salary or work?’ or ‘Can I earn $50,000 doing this?’ The wrong question will generate the wrong result or a less than outstanding outcome.

“Questions predetermine the answer. The size of your question determines the size of your answer. Few people ever ask million-dollar earning, inventing, innovating, generating and creating questions.”

If you keep a journal or idea notebook, start making a list of provocative questions you’d like answered in your own life. Ask them in the most compelling way you can think of.

For example, “How can I deliver the most fabulous service possible?” is a lot more intriguing than, “How can I give better service?”

Consider questions about spirituality, relationships, personal growth and improving the overall quality of life, as well as questions about creating the most brilliant business possible.

Keep adding to the list and leave room after each question for the answers to come. Be willing, also,  to be patient in receiving your answers.

As writer Zora Neale Hurston reminds us, “There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” The important thing is to ask the best questions to begin with—the ones that are worthy of your dreams.

Are You Asking Good Questions?

 In her delightful book Educating Alice, author Alice Steinbach writes that as a child her family remembers her pestering them with questions. She explains it this way: “Given my insatiable curiosity and intense admiration for Nancy Drew, my future plans hinged on entering the detective profession. I saw myself as Nancy Drew aging into Miss Marple. It was the perfect life for me, I thought then, one that would require me to constantly ask questions, find out the answers, and along the way learn a lot of new things.” Steinbach didn’t become a detective, but she did have a successful career as a journalist where her question-asking skills got a regular workout.

Soliciting information isn’t the only reason to ask questions. Here are some others that are particularly useful to entrepreneurs.

* Clarifying questions. Good communicators use this technique all the time to make sure that they understand what was said. “Did I understand you correctly when you said you wanted to give me a free massage?” is just such a question.

* Getting ideas. Asking questions of yourself can bring answers from your subconscious mind.  I frequently ask myself, “How can I make things better?” Sometimes the answer is mundane (dust  the bookshelves), but often it serves as an invitation for some grander project.

* Seeking advice. These are the kinds of questions I get asked the most. “How do I market my services on a shoestring? What do you think of this idea? Do you know anyone who can help me break into the specialty food marketing business?” While entrepreneurs must be willing to ask for advice from informed sources, they must also be willing to listen and not argue with the advice they’re given.

* Helping customers make a decision. Successful sales people are skillful at asking questions that bring prospects to a commitment. “So would you like a six-month or twelve-month supply?” is a decision-making query.

The esteemed business guru Peter Drucker said, “My greatest strength as a consultant is to be ignorant and ask a few questions.”  So where are you needing support? Who can you ask? What can you ask of yourself? Sometimes we fail to receive support because nobody knows we need it.

Asking better questions also means avoiding  dead end ones. As the authors of The One Minute Millionaire point out, “The wrong question will generate the wrong result or a less than outstanding outcome. The size of your question determines the size of your answer.”

Think of the world as a big, rich resource center that has everything you need to make your dreams come true. Tapping into it may be as easy as asking the right questions.