5 Ways to Make it Harder

If you’ve met me or seen my picture, you may have noticed that I am blessed with hair that’s straight as a ruler. Unfortunately, when I was a little girl, Toni home permanents came up with a solution—Tonette for children.

After it appeared on the market, my mother enthusiastically administered this smelly monstrosity to my hair at regular intervals. When I would protest, she’d remind me, “You must suffer to be beautiful.”

It became one of my mother’s favorite mantras and I suspect the message spilled over into other areas of life. How dare I feel proud about any accomplishment that came easily?

While I no longer believe that suffering is a necessity when it comes to personal achievement, I do know that worthwhile endeavors usually involve a challenge—or several.

Nevertheless, I suspect that too many of us continue to make things harder than necessary when we’re going for a dream.  I also suspect that we’re often unaware of those behaviors that slow us down and add drudgery.

How can we be sure we’re making it harder than it needs to be? Here are five surefire ways that can burden the entrepreneur’s journey.

1. Avoid investing in ourselves. Anyone who starts a business signs up for a learning adventure, but those who never bother to attend a seminar or travel to a conference are making their own success a low budget priority.

And it’s not just information that needs to be acquired. As author Earnie Larsen points out, “You can’t outperform your own self-image.”

For most of us, acquiring a healthy self-image requires an investment of time, money and assistance from pros.

2. Pamper our excuses. We’ve all got them and when we repeat them often enough, they begin to feel welcome.

That’s only a short step away from believing them. The moment we do that, our excuses assume a position of power.

It’s hard to move ahead when our excuses have lodged themselves around our ankles.

3. Never ask for help. In a recent post, Seth Godin said, “Too often, businesses (and freelancers) focus on making it on their own. In fact, the secret of being indispensable is making it together.”

Colorado Free University founder John Hand believed that for everyone who has a problem, someone in the community has the solution. Whether the community is geographic or virtual, we make it harder for ourselves if we fail to find those helpful resources and listen to their advice.

4. Ignore the successful. The world is full of people who are willing to share their experiences, lessons and techniques.

The best way to keep from following in their footsteps is to avoid putting yourself in their presence to begin with, but should you find yourself in the same room, use it as an exercise to compare yourself to them rather than learn from them.

5. Scorn inspiration. One of the best kept secrets around is that inspiration is available to all of us, but it needs to be cultivated. In order to do that, we need to know what inspires us—and take ourselves to those people and places on a regular basis.

As Mary Pipher observes, “Inspiration is very polite. She knocks quietly and if  we don’t answer, goes elsewhere.”

Inspiration, even at its quietest, helps us to feel more brilliant, more creative, more capable. When we undervalue it, we rob ourselves of its gifts.

It’s so much harder to succeed if we haven’t invited inspiration along as a companion.

Back in Business Soon

It’s been two weeks since I put the last items in the POD, turned in my house keys, and left Las Vegas for my new home in Valencia, CA.  No one was more surprised than me that I find myself still without a new place to call my own.

I had no thoughts of moving this year, but when the house I’d been happily renting for four and half years was being sold, I had no say in the matter.

I decided it was time to reconnect with my family and join them in California. To say that things have not gone according to plan would be an understatement.

I’ll spare you the boring details, but this time without a place of my own has me thinking and examining my feelings about home. Those feelings have certainly changed over time.

For the first half of my life, a home was somewhere to return to after a day spent in school or at work. That all changed on the day that I set up the card table in my family room and opened my first little business.

At the time, I went to great lengths to conceal the fact that I worked from home. Who would take me seriously if they saw my unimpressive office?

At the time, there were no resources talking about being self-employed and working from home. Of course, I knew writers and some artists turned a spare bedroom into a studio, but I had no idea what other forms of enterprise could thrive in a domestic setting.

The exception to the conventional business start-up information was Supergirls, the book that gave me the notion that I could be self-employed. They had started out working from home, but moved into “real” offices as soon as their business began to grow.

At the time, I assumed I would do the same and set up shop in a rented space where I could have proper meetings and create exciting events. At the time, I had no idea how much I would come to love working from home.

So here I am decades later, a homeless homebased entrepreneur. I assume this is a temporary condition.

I am also keenly aware that the flexibility, mobility and independence this lifestyle offers also makes it possible for me to shift my focus temporarily from running my business to finding my next World Headquarters.

Last week, Judy Heminsley, who blogs at Work From Home Wisdom, from Bath, UK, posted  a wonderful gallery of home worker’s workspaces.  Check them out for yourself.

I admit I got a little envious—and even more eager to be settled—when I saw pictures of the smiling homebased entrepreneurs that Judy shared.

Then two-year-old Zachy runs up, throws his arms around my legs and yells, “Yeah, Grandma!” That’s when it seems perfectly okay to practice benign neglect a little while longer.

Things I Haven’t Told You

Several months ago, I began to see lists of 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me popping up on blogs and on Facebook. Everyone I read was intriguing in its own way, but I hadn’t considered doing one myself.

Then I had a bout of insomnia last night and amused myself by composing a list of my own. When I got up this morning, I decided to give it a try.

While none of these things are secrets, there may be a few surprises in it. After you read it, you may want to try writing one of your own. I suspect you’ll be as surprised as I was about the things that came to mind.

I’m cross-eyed and began wearing glasses when I was 5. For years I was the only kid in school who had glasses and was teased incessantly.

I finished college in 3 years and began teaching high school English to 17-year-olds six weeks before my twenty-first birthday.

Although I don’t know how it happened, I was an Anglophile by the age of 7 and began filling scrapbooks with pictures of the royal family and London landmarks. Years later, my mother said, “Yes, we thought it was a bit odd.”

Two years after graduating from college, I auditioned for a summer theater production of Barefoot in the Park and was chosen to play the lead’s mother. I am now about the proper age for that role.

Despite having shared a difficult childhood, my three sisters and  brother have become interesting people that I love to spend time with.

In high school, I created my first wild adventure (getting myself included in a press conference for pop star Rick Nelson) and discovered “what the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.”

On September 9 I plan to celebrate 27 years of sobriety.

My father’s six unique sisters were powerful role models for me.

I’ve always considered travel to be a necessity, not a luxury.

My best friend Chris Utterback died of breast cancer in 1999 and I have never stopped missing her.

When I was six I bit our elderly family dentist who demanded that my mother get me out of his office and never return.

Sandy Dempsey and I share a birthday and it’s especially auspicious this year since it falls on 10/10/10.

I love housesitting and could easily become a property caretaker.

I’ve never met a gelato I didn’t like.

I want to live in a world where everyone gets out of bed in the morning excited about how they’re going to spend the day.

When people stop laughing together the relationship is coming to an end.

I am the mother of a daughter who was born wise. On the day she left for college, she left me a card that said, “Thanks for being a great mother, a great teacher and a great student.”

Although I grew up surrounded by people who were lifetime residents of my hometown, I always wanted to live in different places.

I can still recite the opening to Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales in Middle English.

Two things that turned out to be even better than I’d expected were my time on a sabbatical and Sedona.

I swore off home ownership years ago. I have owned three homes and every time I moved into one I began to feel as if I couldn’t breathe.

House Hunters on Home & Garden television is my idea of a spectator sport.

On a trip to England, I rented a room for two nights in a home that turned out to be a dormitory for Scientologists.

I am brought to tears by stress and beautiful music.

I believe that committing to a dream is a daily activity—not something we just do once.

Getting the Most From a Class or Seminar

As I was busily rearranging the hotel ballroom where my seminar was to be held, a man arrived, marched to the front seat, sat down, folded his arms over his chest and said in a demanding voice, “This better be good!”

I was quite certain that he was about to be disappointed.

During the break at the same class, another man rushed up to me, eyes glowing, and said, “I can’t believe what is happening. I wasn’t even supposed to be here tonight. I came to take notes for a friend who couldn’t make it. Already, I have thought of several businesses I could start!”

Every class I teach has a variation of this theme. While the information is the same, some people leave with nothing and others leave with more than they expected to get.

How can you be the one to get more out of the classes and seminars you attend?

Having spent a lot of time on both sides of the desk, here are a few tips I’ve garnered:

° Be responsible for what happens in the class. Do you realize, for example, that you can help the leader do a better job? By nodding, smiling, responding, you can encourage—or discourage—the person leading the class.

Nonverbal communication is strong in a classroom. If you frown or appear indifferent, you may have a negative impact on the person teaching the course. By supporting the teacher, you’ll get a better class. No kidding.

° Come ready to learn. Leave your problems and worries outside the room and let your sense of adventure take over. For a few hours, suspend your resistance and be open to the ideas and information you’re receiving.

° Pick the best seat in the house.  Arrive a bit early and select the best vantage point you can get. Make sure you can see and hear what’s going on. The farther to the front that you place yourself, the fewer the distractions.

° Take two sets of notes. Make one set factual (i.e. important points given in the lecture) and another of ideas that you get during the course of the lecture. In other words, begin applying ideas to your life immediately.

° Be a regular student. Of course, expanding your knowledge can be fun and interesting, but there are larger benefits. Seminars and classes can strengthen your self-confidence, motivate you, awaken ideas and thoughts that have been dormant.

You may even transform your life. Only Cinderella changed hers with a magic want. Modern versions of the story such as My Fair Lady and Educating Rita rely on education to perform such miracles.

Take your self-education seriously. And while not all classes and seminars will be equally powerful, you’ll still receive the rewards that come from keeping your curiosity alive.

Want to Build a Better Business? You Need the Right Tools

Before I started my first business in 1974, I went looking for all the information I could find. I haunted my local library trying to find something that could help me start the kind of business I envisioned: small, at home, creative. The scant offerings on starting a business all assumed that the reader intended to have employees, pension plans, real estate and so forth. I wanted to market ideas; the books assumed I’d be manufacturing a product for wide distribution.

I attended a Start Your Own Business seminar hosted by the SBA. That was more discouraging than illuminating. I began to wonder if I was setting myself up for a huge disappointment since my vision didn’t seem to align with anyone’s notion of what it meant to be an entrepreneur.

Eight years earlier, unbeknownst to me at the time,  Paul Hawken was opening one of the country’s first natural food stores in Boston. A dozen years later, he started Smith & Hawken, a mail order business to offer tools and garden ornamentation.

Both of those operations were more conventional than mine, but he shared my confusion.

He still feels that way. I read a recent interview with Hawken and was both surprised and relieved to see he shared my experience. He said,  “When I started the natural food business in Boston, my business knowledge was scant. I did the best I could and began reading everything I could lay my hands on. I subscribed to The Wall Street Journal. It confused me. I read the major business magazines. Their Fortune 500 world seemed irrelevant. I sneaked into classes at the Harvard Business School. Their case studies were lunar in their usefulness to my enterprise.  The more I searched, the more confused I became. The more exposure I gained to the ‘official’ world of business, the more I began to doubt that I was in business at all. I seemed to be doing something entirely different. I get that same feeling today when I read most of the standard business literature believe that most people in new businesses, and some in not-so-new businesses, have the same problem. They don’t feel connected to the conventional wisdom..as if a small business is just a flake chipped off the larger corporate world.”

 I was thinking about this the other day when someone posted a link on Twitter to a round up of marketing books. I clicked on the link and as i scrolled through the list had that old feeling. “These books don’t have much bearing on the kind of business that I run.” While the books might have been a good fit for a large, conventional business, the ideas didn’t really transfer.

Since this new breed of entrepreneur has come on the scene, it’s been obvious that our notion of building a business is noticeably different than that of a corporate empire builder. Fortunately, there’s a growing array of tools to help us out. We may have to work a little harder to discover them, however. 

Making your way through that gigantic information hardware store can be confusing. It may involve some experimenting in order to get the right tools you need to build the business of your dreams. Make an effort to connect with others who are running solo or tiny businesses. Audition organizations to see where you feel a connection before you commit. Learn to synthesize good ideas and ignore those that don’t work for you. 

When building a business or a life or a family or an adventure, you want the best tools you can find. As Abraham Maslow warned, “When the only tool you’ve got is a hammer, you tend to see life as a nail.” 

After all, you wouldn’t use a toothbrush to build a house. You can’t build a business with the wrong tools, either.

Through the Back Door to Getting Published

Making a Living Without a JobOn February 29, 1992, I woke up in my New York hotel room scared to death. I was about to teach Making a Living Without a Job to 125 students at the Learning Annex. Although I’d taught the class dozens of times before and had done so on three previous occasions in NYC, this was different. Two publishers were sending editors to watch me in action. I was auditioning and I was a nervous wreck. Since I hadn’t met either of those editors, I wouldn’t be able to pick them out of the crowd. My trembling self caught a cab and took a deep breath. I reminded myself that all I could do was give it my best shot.

Fortunately, I had help. I am quite certain that the Universe handpicked my audience that day. They were amazing. Not only did everyone listen intently and take copious notes, they asked wonderful questions. I wasn’t the only one to notice that.

At the break, a woman came up and introduced herself, told me she was from one of the publishing houses and said she was loving the class. After she left, another woman introduced herself. Her name was Leslie Meredith and she was the editor from Bantam. The rest of the class is a blur.

To my astonishment, the following Tuesday I received calls and offers from both publishers. I hadn’t considered that I might have to choose and it threw me into a small tizzy. I decided to create a list of questions to ask each editor and see if that made my choice clearer. I called them both on Thursday and as soon as I’d finished, knew that Bantam was the right publisher for me.

Later that day, I called both editors to give them my decision. The losing editor was downright nasty, which took me by surprise, but also reinforced my decision. I called Leslie to tell her that I wanted to work with them and she hollered to a co-worker, “Matthew, we got the Barbara Winter book?”

”The Barbara Winter book?” I thought. I liked the sound of that.

There’s a lot more to this story, of course. There’s the back story about how I spent several years building a base, generating publicity and creating a seminar series that was among the most popular in adult ed programs throughout the country. I did all that before committing to writing a book. I knew that first time authors can have a long wait until publication. My plan–which worked better than I’d expected–was to have a publisher find me, instead of me seeking them.

Then there are all the doors that have opened because of the book. I’ve heard from people all over the world who are enjoying their new lives as inspired, creative entrepreneurs. That’s an incredibly humbling experience for an author.

When I was writing the book, I had a different subtitle that had the word “nineties” in it. Leslie suggested I change that. “This book is going to have a long shelf life,” she predicted. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would still be in print 16 years later!

This time around, I had a new editor, the delightful Angela Polidoro. Here’s a glimpse of some of the changes you’ll find in the spiffy new edition of
Making a Living Without a Job:

  • How to find opportunity in a chaotic economy
  • Why smart, small, and spunky is the 21st-century business model
  • Using the internet and social networking to open the door to fresh opportunities
  • The best resources to help you create and grow a business that is uniquely your own
  • How to leave “Employee Thinking” behind and build an “Entrepreneur’s Mindset”

As I write in the introduction, “Despite the fact that change is often unsettling, these are exciting times, for those who are paying attention…In an economic climate that teeters on uncertainty, thoughtful people are seeking fresh options—options that honor their creativity, add meaning and purpose to their lives, and allow them to go as far as their imaginations permit.” And as my publicist wrote, “This is the book that can help you get started, and the timing couldn’t be better—so get ready to let your imagination soar.”

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

If you want to know more about
A Beginner’s Guide to Getting Published, join me for my upcoming teleclass on Wednesday, August 26. Can’t attend in person? You can still sign up and receive the audio download.

Happy Independence Day!

The more people who own little businesses of their own, the safer our country will be because…for the people who have a stake in their country and their community are its best citizens. ~ John Hancock

What Have You Got to Work With?

A common trait shared by the successfully self-employed is their willingness to mobilize the resources at hand. You won’t find them stalling, making excuses about not being able to move ahead for lack of funds, equipment, experience. It’s a practice we can all adopt. Here’s an exercise that can be duplicated in all sorts of ways, no matter how far along the path you are.

The idea came from Mark H. McCormack who pointed out that all it really takes to start a business is a desk and a phone. So what can you do with a phone? Here are a few ideas that came to mind when I asked myself that question.

° Create a welcoming message. None of this, “You have reached 721-4444” stuff. Let people know you’re glad they called. You may not mean it if a telemarketer calls, but that’s no reason to leave a bland, generic greeting.

° Receive invitations and opportunities. Always, always answer the phone with enthusiasm and expectation. At the very least, you’ll startle your callers who probably are used to being greeted with indifference or, alas, hostility. 

° Brainstorm. Many success teams function beautifully by phone. All you need is a group of idea-generators and access to a bridge line such as Free Conference. It’s a worthwhile way to spend an hour or two on a regular basis. Today, in fact, I’m looking forward to a call with the participants in the first Follow Through Camp and can’t wait for their progress reports. 

When I was working on the updated Making a Living Without a Job, my editor (whom I’ve not met in person) and I brainstormed via the phone. Now that it’s nearing publication, my publicist and I are doing the same. 

° Teach a class. I resisted doing teleclasses for ever so long. Since I love being in a room with adult learners I thought it would be impossible to duplicate that over the phone. I was right: it isn’t the same experience. But it’s still a great vehicle for sharing information with folks who couldn’t get to a meeting room where I was teaching.

In addition, I’ve enjoyed doing teleclasses on new subjects that work well in the shorter format. It’s a lovely way to generate cash flow from the comfort of my couch.

° Stay in touch with your tribe. Even though e-mail has become the most frequent form of communication for most people, it can’t take the place of a live chat. You don’t need an excuse or agenda to talk to folks who matter most to you.

° Follow up. Sent out a proposal? Talked to a potential client? Not heard back from a collaborator about a joint venture? Take a deep breath and open a conversation.

Find Five: Weekend Excursions

 A successful employee talks about going out on her own in Marci Alboher’s A Career in Transition: 5 Questions for Gina Trapani

One of my favorite books of recent times is The Art of Possibility by Ben and Rosamand Zander. I’ve read it several times and keep going back to their brilliant insights. If you haven’t seen Ben Zander’s talk on Music & Passion on TED, take twenty minutes and sit back and watch. Don’t be surprised if you cry.

The NY Times had an intriguing piece about how people are rediscovering their creativity in this economy. It’s called Austere Times? Perfect and it made me smile. 

Need to tame your money dragon? Join me for my upcoming teleclasses Beyond the $100 Hour, Tuesday, May 19 and/or Creating and Managing Multiple Profit Centers on Thursday, May 21. You can put $10 in your pocket when you sign up for both at the same time.

Seth Godin is always worth reading, but lately he’s been on a roll. If you don’t already get his daily musings, consider signing up. Here’s a preview where he reminds us that being the biggest isn’t the goal. 

So how do you create an idea that spreads? Don’t try to make a product for everybody, because that is a product for nobody. The everybody products are all taken. ~  Seth Godin

As you may have heard, my brother Jim lost his house in the Santa Barbara wildfire on Wednesday night. This home, which he had built himself, was an extension of his creative spirit so the loss has been especially sad. Thank you to everyone who has sent messages of support and encouragement. They have been greatly appreciated during a difficult time for the Winter family.

Weekend Excursions

This week I’ve been reading the galleys for the new Making a Living Without a Job. I came across this story (which you’ve seen if you’ve read the book) and knew it was worth another look.

When you are willing to invest in yourself and your ideas, you have put your money and time into the one thing that lasts a lifetime and can never be taken from you. Businessman and author Bob Conklin told this story that I’ve never forgotten: “Twenty years ago, my wife and I evaluated all the ways we had spent and invested money. Stocks, cars, insurance, real estate, furniture and all other major investments were scrutinized. Do you know what investment outdistanced the others by an enormous percentage? Ourselves. Any investment in growth or self-improvement had paid incredible returns. Books, courses, seminars, conventions— whatever the learning experience—had always returned far greater rewards than any other investment. The best investment in life is in your own self-development. It will pay off the greatest financial and emotional rewards.”

Echoing that advice is a new study that’s gotten a lot of attention because of the radical discovery that Experiences Make us Happier Than Possessions. Really?

The movers and shakers that I follow on Twitter are frequent participants in seminars and conferences. Chris Brogan has a great article called Build How-to Material to Grow Relationships that was inspired during a conference.

Got wanderlust? So does Gary Arndt and all sorts of other folks featured in Christopher Elliott’s article The Secret to an Endless Vacation. 

Follow Through Camp is only two weeks away and I am anticipating great things will be happening for the participants. I’ve been seeing so many blog posts and conversations about getting unstuck…and that’s exactly what we’re going to be tackling at Camp. Even though there’s not much time left to make travel plans, we still have room for two more campers. Want to be one?

Finally, I’ve been savoring Twyla Tharp’s The Creative Habit and came across this bit of advice: If it’s true that who you are now and who you will be in five years depend on what books you read and which people you meet, then you need to think more aggressively about those you invite into your creative life…In my career, I’ve collaborated with artists from David Byrne to Milos Forman to Jerome Robbins to Phillip Glass. This didn’t happen by accident. But it made good accidents happen.