You’ve heard it. You’ve probably even said it: “I so resonate with that.”

I’ve never really, well, resonated with that expression.  The phrase that pops into my head when I want to express extreme approval or affection for something is more likely to be, “I identify with that.”

Not that it really matters, but I’ve been thinking a great deal lately about the role that identifying plays in our life choices.

For instance, I’ve been pondering why it took me so long to realize that the self-employed life was for me. As I’ve mentioned before, I grew up surrounded by self-employed people and I’ve been thinking about some of them for the first time in years.

One of the folks that came to mind was Ed Tetzloff, the proprietor of a musty and dimly lit dry goods store in my hometown. It was the place where we’d go with our nickels and dimes to purchase penny candy. Transactions with the portly Mr. Tetzloff were often conducted in silence as we handed over our weekly allowance for a few root beer barrels.

I don’t recall anything much ever changing in the store—or in most of the other stores that lined our Main Street. Throughout my growing years, the same people stood in the same places selling the same merchandise  year in and year out.

I did not identify with that lifestyle and assumed my adult life would be different.

My career advisors paid no attention to it, either, as I was groomed to take my place in the job market.

Any of this sound familiar?

Fortunately, I continued to believe that this was a world filled with possibilities. Adventures. New experiences.

This was blind faith in action and it took me a long time to move into that richly rewarding world.

The window on that world was opened for me when I read Supergirls: The Autobiography of an Outrageous Business. I realize now that this book was so powerful because from my first encounter with it, I identified with the notion of creating a business that was an extension of who I was and what I cared about.

This wasn’t Tetzloff’s Variety Store; it was business as a passport to adventure and creativity.

Nobody had ever mentioned that to me before, but once I had that vision on my horizon, I made a conscious and continuous effort to hear what the successfully self-employed had to say. Those folks that I identified with (and it was more about character than acquisition), became my trusted advisors.

Whether resonating or identifying is your style, the important thing to remember is that when you find yourself making a mental connection, it’s an invitation to go deeper, to explore, to see what’s waiting to be invited into your life. Pay attention.

Or you might spend your life being a victim of mistaken identity.