People who spend their days interacting the with same people over and over again often find it difficult to open a conversation with anyone they don’t already know.
It’s always surprising, for instance, to watch a seminar room fill up and notice how few people greet their fellow learners. How could you not be curious, I wonder, about others who are about to share a learning adventure with you?
When we don’t reach out to others, we are literally ignoring the largest natural resource that we have—the potential of other humans. We also become less trusting and more cynical.
When we are genuinely curious about others, however, we may find inspiration when we least expect it.
A few years ago, a plumber came to make some repairs in my apartment. As he was fixing my dishwasher, I asked him if he worked exclusively for the property owner.
He spun around and said, “No! I own my own business.” I feared I had insulted him. He opened his jacket and showed me his t-shirt which bore the name and logo of his company as proof.
“So how long have you worked for yourself?” I asked. I expected a brief reply, but what I got was a fascinating story.
Lee had been studying veterinary medicine, he said, when his wife died in a boating accident. Since he had two young children, he found being a full-time student and caring for them too difficult.
When he dropped out of college, a friend, who owned a small apartment building, offered to give them a place to live in exchange for some handyman work. “That was the last apartment I ever lived in,” Lee told me.
He decided to buy a run down house, moved in with his kids, fixed it up and sold it for a nice profit. Then he did it again—and again.
Along the way, he decided to learn about investing and put some of his profits into the stock market. He did very well at that, too. Meanwhile, his plumbing/handyman business grew alongside these other ventures.
“Until two years ago, I didn’t even have a listed telephone number,” he laughed. “My business just kept growing by referrals and word of mouth.”
Then he looked thoughtful. “I guess I could retire, but why should I? I love driving around in my truck with all my tools. And I get to learn new things all the time. That thing I just did to your dishwasher? I’ve never done that before!” He was beaming as he made his confession.
That little conversation with someone who was so obviously joyfully about being self-employed kept me going all day. And I’m willing to bet that my genuine curiosity about Lee’s life made his day better, too.
Learning to be comfortable in the presence of strangers has benefits beyond merely making the day a bit more pleasant: it can have a positive impact on our mental health.
Psychologist Alfred Adler observed, “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injuries to others.”
Think about that for a moment and I’m guessing you can think of someone who fits Adler’s description.
Being at ease with a wide range of people is a skill worth cultivating. It can lead to opportunities you never imagined and to connections with people who make life richer.
Why wouldn’t you want to reach out when the rewards are so big?
No Comments
Be the first to start a conversation