One day I got a message from my friend Peter with a subject line that read, “I just turned down $10,000…” He finished the sentence in the body of the message with, “and it feels great.”
Peter went on to describe a project he was working on that felt less and less like a good fit for him the longer he worked on it. He gathered his courage and ended the relationship.
He also knew that many people would think he was crazy for walking away from the money. He ended the message by saying, “I just had to tell somebody that I knew would understand.”
This incident always reminds me that sometimes quitting is both a moral choice and an act of courage. It’s also a reminder that when running a business we need to be clear about what we are willing to do—and what we won’t do.
This may sound obvious, but I suspect that every entrepreneur has taken on projects because their cash flow was squeaky or they convinced themselves that a potential client wasn’t really as big a jerk as they appeared to be.
Smart entrepreneurs use such experiences as lessons that help them clarify their own vision—and avoid repeating their bad choices.
Of course, there are also many things that fall under the umbrella of Against My Ethics and we don’t spend much time pondering whether or not we should do something illegal or immoral. We’re not even tempted.
On the other hand, it makes sense to think about those services or products that we won’t be including. You may not advertise that you don’t do windows, but having determined that’s not part of your portfolio you’ll know how to handle requests for such a service if it comes your way.
When I was starting out, I decided that there were three things I wouldn’t be doing in my business. Even though I had seen others do such things with some measure of success, they felt inappropriate to me.
These three condiitons were more guidelines for me than policies and included:
1. I won’t duplicate what is already being done. While I love passiing along resources that I think are useful to my audience, I am not about to pretend I’m the oracle for all wisdom. If someone else has covered the territory well, I’ll send people their way—and be thankful I can work on other subjects and projects that are my true passions.
2. I won’t develop dependency relationships. I’ve watched people get wealthy in the personal growth industry by developing devoted followers who never are quite ready to break the ties to their guru and create something of their own. While this can be highly profitable for gurus, I’ve always wanted to inspire folks to create, invent and deliver their own special gifts to the world. I’m happy to be a midwife, but not a parent.
3. I won’t teach what I haven’t learned. You won’t see any pictures of me standing next to a Ferrari with palm trees in the background telling you how to make a bazillion dollars in the next six months. You also won’t see any seminars or writing from me about subjects I’ve researched but haven’t tested in the laboratory of my own life and business.
Over time, I’ve added other guidelines about what I will and won’t do. A few years ago, for instance, I adopted the mantra Work With the Willing to remind me that I am not in the business of evangelizing and making converts. My ideal customers and clients are already sold on the notion of living a joyfully jobless life and simply want to keep evolving forward on that path. That’s where i come in.
I’ve never changed my mind about any of those things even though compromising on any one of them could have added to my bottom line. More importantly to me was realizing that what I will and won’t do was the only way to build the business of my dreams.
What about you? What won’t you do?
HI Barbara! We have come a long way since you spent some time sitting in my porch and doing a “mastermind” discussion with my friends, haven’t we? I love this post. I find myself having to turn down work, and it hurt a lot at first, but now I realize I am able to be a much better artisan by admitting I can’t do absolutely everything. I am excited to tell you I became “joyfully jobless” last June, and I am still alive! Amazing. I just launched my website at http://www.terrykempfert.com. Please take a look and see what I am up to – I love my job every day and actually have a little more money than month. It works! I love what I do and am successful. Thank you for that little book I read back in the 90’s (and the new version I re-read last year). You have helped me make the leap.
Terry
Hi Barbara,
Great post on both setting and discovering boundaries.
The two marvelous takeaways for me are Work with the Willing and Midwife, not Parent.
( Both concepts I’ve had to learn the hard way LOL ) That’s good advice in any area of life, not just in our businesses.
I hope new World Headquarters are soon in evidence. Hugz, Della
Hi Barbara
This week I declined an offer from a publisher to write something for them about working from home. It felt a bit odd because frankly I’m still at the stage where any offer is exciting! But since then I’ve had two offers for different projects that I do want to do.
Reminds me of the time while I was running my cleaning business when a longstanding client was taken over, and the new manager kept me waiting for a meeting without explanation or apology and then informed me they wanted a ‘cheap job’. It was a big contract but there was no way I could continue to work on that basis so I gave notice. Very soon afterwards another large contract came my way out of the blue.
Yes, it’s a moral choice and it takes courage, but I believe it’s worth it in many ways.
Thanks for sharing your stories…and comments.
For a year we’ve been planning to move from a boring small town to the California coast. Everything about this move felt right, but three months in we aren’t connecting with the area and are finding it much too expensive to live here. We decided over the weekend that enough was enough and we’re moving to Sacramento – just as hot as our old hometown, but our best friends live there and it’s much more affordable. I felt defeated for the first hour and then realized how amazing my life is a freelance writer and homeschooler that we’re able to pick up and go where we need to be. Just tonight I picked up an old copy of Winning Ways to inspire me and read a few inspiring quotes about having more beginnings than endings – I realized we are living our life like that!
Barbara:
I’ve decided to never preach without having practiced, which is why I’m focusing on getting active clients instead of marketing by the Internet.
I also would like to keep in mind your mantra that you want to lead the willing, and not evangelize.
I have never gotten anywhere with evangelizing.
Yet sometimes I still try.
Thanks for the reminder.
Best, Jillian