In Business to Annoy

They’re baaaaaack! Those annoying Internet flashing banner ads that disappeared for a while have returned with a vengeance. They make my eyes cross and my head hurt.

They do not make me think, “Oh, that looks interesting. I’d better check it out and see what I’m missing.”

Same goes for local tv ads that are broadcast at twice the volume of regular programming.

And do you know anyone who adores automated phone systems?

Also rating high on my Annoyance Index is my local supermarket. I only shop there for a few things when I don’t have time to run to the delightful Trader Joe’s.

A few months ago, I noticed something strange was happening at Von’s. Perhaps they hired a customer service consultant who advised them to be more helpful. Or maybe their manager came up with a plan to endear the store to their waning customer base.

It’s not working.

Under this new policy, I can be browsing contentedly in the store—and then am startled when an employee swoops out of nowhere to ask me if I need help.

Scaring the daylights out of me is not their worst offense.

The other day I dropped in to pick up a few items. After I’d paid for them, I was asked, “Do you need help out with that?”

What I had just purchased was a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of ketchup and an onion.

An automated question like that doesn’t make me feel like they want  to be helpful; it tells me they’re not paying attention.

Or, perhaps, they are implying that anyone as aged and frail as I am, shouldn’t be trusted getting to their car with such a load.

In Fromm and Schlesinger’s The Real Heroes of Business, they say, “If you want to know how to give great service, find people who do it and watch them.”

If you want to know how to avoid giving great service, watch people who annoy you. Then decide which you want as your role model.

A Holiday Gift Suggestion

I’m pretty sure I broke out in a big grin this morning when novelist Jonathan Odell posted a link on Facebook to an interview with him that appeared in today’s Huffington Post.

Of course, I’m always delighted when someone I know is bringing their dreams to life, but this particular dream is one I first encountered when it was a tiny gleam in Jon’s eye.

I’m not certain that I was the first person he’d shared this with, but years ago he told me about his dream of being a writer. The moment he said it, I knew he could be a terrific writer.

We often talked about writing when we were together and from time to time, Jon would send me a short piece he’d written. They were always wonderful.

Then we both got busy with our businesses and I didn’t hear from him for a long time. I did, however, keep holding that vision for him.

When his second novel, The Healing, arrived earlier this year, I bought a copy, but couldn’t read it right away. I loaned it to my daughter who finished it and urged me to do the same so she’d have someone to discuss it with.

When I had time to explore what Jon had written, I was captivated by his powerful story with an unforgettable heroine. I loved it as much as Jennie did.

Of course, I promptly wrote a fan letter to the author. I was surprised when he replied and said, “Thanks, Barbara. You got me started, remember?”

Thinking back, I wondered what I had said or done and nothing in particular came to mind. Then I remembered my secret occupation.

Several years ago, I read  Dirk Gentlys Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams. I have no idea how I came across the book or decided to investigate, but it introduced me to a fascinating character: the Electric Monk. I knew that’s what I wanted to be (in human form).

According to the story, an Electric Monk is a household appliance whose purpose is to believe something on your behalf until you’re ready to believe it yourself.

Don’t you wish you could get one at Best Buy?

Since that’s not yet possible, why not become the Electric Monk for somebody else? Hold their dream for them. Believe it. See it. Gently remind them of it from time to time.

And when they’re ready to believe it themself, join them in celebrating.

Then move on and find someone else who can use your services. After all, there’s no shortage of dreams in need of their own Electric Monk.

7 Ways Your Public Library Can Help You Build Your Business

Public libraries have been with me every step of the way in my self-employment journey. I remember visiting the tiny Sun Prairie, Wisconsin, library when I was first dreaming about starting a business.

Compared with today, the offerings for would-be entrepreneurs were pretty skinny, but reading biographies of several pioneering women entrepreneurs inspired me and helped me believe I could create my own business, too.

Years later, when I was invited to give a talk at my branch library in Minneapolis about my book Making a Living Without a Job, I began by declaring, “The library is an entrepreneur’s best friend.”

I absolutely meant it.

In every place I’ve lived, I’ve gotten my library card before I got my driver’s license

So it always comes as a surprise to me when I talk to a would-be or struggling entrepreneur and discover that they don’t tap into the treasure trove that’s waiting for them.

If you haven’t visited a library for a while or you always head to the same section, check out all the ways a library can help you build your self-employment enterprise.

° Nonfiction titles exist on every aspect of starting and running a business. Besides personal accounts and biographies, how-to books abound.

Want to know what all the fuss about branding is? Thinking about selling articles to magazines? Want to tap into new trends? There’s a good chance that somebody has done you the favor of writing about it.

Unlike much of the information you can find online, library books tend to be edited and sources verified which adds to their credibility.

° Get inspired with a novel. Mysteries, especially, often feature entrepreneurial characters in leading roles. Often these entrepreneurs are amateur detectives as well.

You can learn a lot—almost accidentally—about antiquarian book selling from John Dunning or catering from Diane Mott Davidson while solving a murder or two.

In fact, the main characters of many novels are self-employed which suggests to me that people who work for themselves are simply more interesting.

° Make friends with a reference librarian. I am certain that if they didn’t love books so much, many of the folks running the library reference desk would be private detectives. They love tracking things down—the harder the better.

Got an idea for a research project? Ask the reference librarian to show you the grant directories. Want to be a public speaker? Inquire about Gale’s Encyclopedia of Associations to get ideas. Need statistics for a presentation? The reference desk is a great place to start your search.

° Make drive time more valuable. My library has an entire room devoted to audio books. Many wonderful fiction and nonfiction titles are available on CD and make fine companions for road trips or while running errands.

As Minnesota Public Radio used to remind me, “Get out of your car smarter than you got in.” Audiobooks can help you do just that.

° Visit a new universe. Browse in a section you don’t normally explore. Investigate some magazines that you’ve never read before. Spend an hour investigating materials in the reference section.

This is what Seth Godin calls “zooming” which he defines as “stretching your limits without threatening your foundation.”

° Attend a talk. If you have access to a fairly large library, chances are they offer free programs as part of their community service.

My library often features authors talking about their writing careers as well as programs on everything from finding your ancestors to travel talks.

° Create an in-depth research project. Build a passion into expertise by learning everything you can about a subject. Don’t just dabble; immerse.

Start with your library’s collection and see how far it can take you, but don’t stop there. Enlist the reference librarian to help you uncover addition information that you haven’t found on your own.

Argentinean writer Jorge Luis Borge once mused, “I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.” Fortunately, you don’t have to wait until you get there to experience the pleasure a library can bring.